"Do You Take This Band to Be Your Wedding Band?"

Dillard's Bridal/Fashion Show (Mall of the Mainland) – Texas City, Texas

The trio is out the door bright and early this Saturday morning. The guys have to be to the mall in Texas City (50+ miles away) by 8:30 A.M in order to set up their booth for the bridal show. The three are excited about distributing their media kits to the brides-to-be who will stop by their little table in the mall. They have also made arrangements with the mall management to play their instruments, so passersby can get a sense of a live GP3 experience. Since Valentine's day was just two days ago, romance is still in the air. This is a great time for any bridal business to push their wares for spring and summer wedding customers.

As soon as the band arrives, they are greeted by Kelly from the mall. She takes them to their booth spot. Lee and George acknowledge to each other that it's in a good location. Their area is situated near the middle of the other booths and displays. Perfect for today's enterprise. Then Kelly says something peculiar: "Now, let me take you to your other spot that you'll be playing later." "Other spot?", asks Lee. "Yes, the catwalk for the fashion show." Kelly gleefully replies. As she leads the two into the center of the mall, George whispers to Lee "What is going on here? We are supposed to play in two spots?" Lee answers "I don't know...I never discussed playing a fashion show with her either." George's lips aren't moving, but his disdain is obvious: "This is a scam...a scam just like all of those Christmas gigs for them last year, the wrong name on the checks, and all that other stuff. Why do we keep putting ourselves through this?" "I don't know...let's just be cool, and see what's going on."

Kelly has picked up on the fact that Lee and George are displeased. "Is there a problem?" Lee respectfully protests "When this place fills up, we won't be able to pack up, move, and then set up again to play a second session in a different location. Kelly, that's just not realistic." George acknowledges that Lee is right. Even though the guys are fairly fast at setting up, it still takes about 20 minutes to move and set everything up. (15 minutes depending on how much caffeine Lee has had).

Matthew arrives to the area lugging some equipment. "What's up?" George and Lee explain that there has been a 'misunderstanding'. Matthew's comprehension of the request is instant "What are we... a NASCAR pit crew?" At this point, Kelly attempts to defend her point. "Well, you are at a Bridal Fashion Show. I thought you would know that you're supposed to play the fashion show." "You're changing the original agreement, we were to have a paid booth to play a little and pass out press kits. We can play the show or the booth but not both. George and Lee wonder if there are there any other 'modifications' that they have not been informed of like -are they to wear the dresses for the fashion too?" (Although George is up for it, Lee may have an issue with the pumps.) This tug-of-war continues until Kelly agrees to allow the guys to set up in one spot and not move.

Lee, George, and Matthew eventually acquiesce and agree to play the fashion walk pro bono. George thinks it will be fun, despite feeling that they've been snookered. Sensing weakness, Kelly moves in for the kill..."So you'll play this morning from 9:30 'til 12:30 whatever music you want. Then we'll start the bridal fashion show at 12:30 and you'll play for 30 minutes or so as the girls model the designer wedding dresses." "So you want us to be here past 1:00?" "Or whenever the fashion show is over." George looks over at Matthew then back at her. "Kelly, not to be difficult about all of this, but Matthew has a prior commitment back in Houston. We understood that we'd perform 2 1/2 hours. So we planned to be done at noon. "Since blaming the band doesn't seem to be getting her anywhere, Kelly takes a different tactic and begins to blame her new assistant for the confusion. George offers to play the assistant's voice mail message to his cell phone for Kelly. At this point she concedes and nervously asks "Can he be to his appointment later? We really want you three to play the fashion show."

Matthew makes a few phone calls and changes his plans. Kelly says "Great!" and quickly leaves the area before the guys come to their senses. Lee shakes his head as George whispers to him that George will never play the Mall of the Mainland ever again. Lee secretly believes that he can persuade him to change his mind. George secretly knows what Lee is thinking, and secretly thinks that he can change Lee's mind to not want to change his.

Within a few minutes (18.5 to be exact) the trio is set up and finished with their sound check. And despite the earlier disagreements with Kelly, the band is in fine working order, doing what they do best - playing music. Every so often, George (laughingly) keeps announcing this is their farewell Mall of the Mainland performance. Greeted by eye-rolling and grins from Matthew and Lee.

The band is set up in an alcove positioned between a Zale's Jewelers on the left and a Kay's Jewelers on the right. George dedicates the song WRAPPED AROUND YOUR FINGER to both companies and suggests that the two have a 'Jewel Off'. Then he jokingly announces that both stores are offering special 1/2 off discounts today in honor of the bridal fair (for a limited time). The sales reps are good sports about it, and one of them, Logan, even requests "...some Billy Joel, Please." YOU MAY BE RIGHT (I MAY BE CRAZY) is the band's musical response.

An interesting looking gent approaches the trio during a break, and introduces himself as 'Mr. Hand'. (No one knows his real name - just the stage name, 'Mr. Hand'). At first glance, he looks a little like a Amish Crocodile Dundee . He says that he 'digs the music' and that he is also a performer in a band called MUNDOTRIBE (www.mundotribe.com). Lee is excited to learn that 'Mr. Hand' is a fellow percussionist, having performed at many world music venues like RaggaeFest and the like. But Matthew and George don't hear any of it, as they start acting out every 'Mr. Hand' character reference they can come up with.

In between songs, Matthew assumes the role of stamping the GP3 square on the 'Bridal Bingo' cards that ladies bring to him. This is a tactic that the organizers have come up with to ensure that the patrons visit every booth at the show. One must have all of the bingo squares stamped in order to be eligible for the door prize drawing - a stretch limo ride for you wedding. The problem is that there is no one at the GP3 booth down the way (since the trio is playing at the catwalk area), so the brides-to-be are very pleased when they find Matthew merrily stamping away as if he's validating parking for everyone in the city.

The time is 12:45 when the bridal fashion show finally begins. The wedding dresses look SPECTACULAR! The models are beautiful as they effortlessly glide down the runway like rainwater down a rose. They move and sway with elegant precision to the trio's music. One could never tell that the song selections were decided just moments before by Matthew and George. To listen you would think that the trio had been rehearsing for this moment for all their lives. Each tune fluently flows from one to the next with a perfect tempo for the walk.The trio plays ONE MORE KISS DEAR / I CAN'T HELP FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOU / SHE'S GOT A WAY /WONDERFUL TONIGHT and draw to a close with HAVE I TOLD YOU LATELY THAT I LOVE YOU.

After the fashion show, Matthew resumes his stamping as Lee and George continue playing. They stop briefly to take a group photo with the models in the dresses. Matthew dedicates the last song of the day to the oddest booth at the exhibit - Palmer Highway Chiropractic. "What is a chiropractor doing at a bridal fair???" The band plays the Nat King Cole favorite STRAIGHTEN UP (AND FLY RIGHT).

As the guys pack up, several good connections are made with the event visitors. They even land a wedding for later in the year based on today's performance. As George and Lee walk by the band's promotion table, they are pleased to see that it's has been cleaned out. Only a few scattered business cards remain. Matthew rushes away to his delayed appointment back in Houston. Lee and George visit the Jack-In-the-Box across from the mall for a quick bite. They talk and laugh for a bit as the afternoon unwinds. As they drive away from the mall, George salutes the sad, dilapidated 'al Of he ain and' sign (translated: Mall of the Mainland) once again, knowing it will be the last visit.

Sittin' On the Dock of the Bay

Landry’s Seafood Restaurant – Kemah Texas

It’s a rainy Tuesday evening at the boardwalk in Kemah. BP of Texas City has hired the trio to play for their annual employee volunteer appreciation dinner. The three begin setting up in an elegant banquet room on the third floor of Landry's seafood restaurant. Set up goes remarkably smooth due to Lee's recent construction of a portable, self-contained case for the sound equipment. The guys have nicknamed the new addition 'The GP5000'. They just roll it into place, plug it in, and 'Voilà!' it's ready to go. No more confusion and aggravation about which cord goes where in the p.a.

In contrast, the Landry's crew are busy trying to assemble a dance floor for the evening. Several of them are sliding 3 x 3 wooden squares around on the carpet directly in front of the band. Each tile square has an interlocking connection on the four corners that have to be placed in a specific order to join up with the other tiles. The members of the the crew are becoming increasingly frustrated as they fight to solve the pattern. Normally Lee is not a mean-spirited guy, but he does take pleasure in the fact that it's not him struggling against the clock to set up . Matthew and George vocalize this sentiment by mildly heckling the crew. "I feel like I'm watching some reality show game challenge." "Yeah, it looks like their playing a giant version of one of those sliding puzzle games." The friendly banter continues on until the trio decide to go downstairs for a bite to eat. The crew is relieved the band is gone-now maybe they can concentrate and get this blasted Rubic's cube of a floor setup!

Once down stairs, the guys treat themselves to warm bowls of Landry's gumbo. The mood is relaxed, due largely to the easy setup (courtesy of the GP5000). The three talk about the evening's venue. Matthew points out the irony of being paid to perform at an event that celebrates volunteerism. Lee and George threaten to throw his bass in the bay if he mentions any of this 'Crazy Talk' to Iris, the evening's hostess. Matthew looks out the window as the waves lap the dock then stares back down into his half-eaten bowl of gumbo.

After a brief dinner, the trio return upstairs to find they are the only ones here. No more hustle and bustle, as the Landry's crew have abandoned the area. It would appear that the wooden tiles have won, as there is not a single square anywhere in the room! "I can't believe that they just...Gave Up! That's too funny!" The band goes to work starting with mainly jazz instrumentals. A few minutes later, Iris and Lakeisha give some last minute instructions. The people trickle in, and look pleased to be inside where it's dry and warm. The trio's soothing jazz tones blanket the room with a welcome audible canopy.

Being two days before valentine's day, many of the tunes tonight are ballads and love songs. George occasionally breaks from character to play volunteer themed titles like ONLY YOU, CHANGE THE WORLD, etc. As the evening progresses, he becomes more bold by leading the group into playing anything that pops into his head like version of Aaron Neville's YELLOW MOON and I’M NOT THE MAN YOU THINK I AM (BUT I’M THE MAN FOR YOU). Even stranger still, George announces that today is the 199th anniversary of the birth of Charles Darwin – “...and whether or not you agree with his theories of evolution, this individual has done more for the advancement of simian relations (specifically monkeys and apes) than Jane Goodall, Cheeta, and Chim-Chim combined.” Then the band plays the Nat King Cole song STRAIGHTEN UP AND FLY RIGHT in which the misadventures of a monkey flying on the back of a buzzard are told.

Finally, the evening's presenter, Kathy takes the stage. She thanks the volunteers (George and Lee give Matthew a sharp 'Don't say a Word about the money' look) then she shows a video of BP volunteer highlights from the past year. Next to address the audience is Iris. Halfway through her presentation Matthew is busted by her as he attempts to get Lee’s attention “Pssst..Pssst...Lee...” Iris turns around thinking he's trying to get her attention. Matthew face turns as red as if he’d been caught passing note in grade school. Iris forgives him (but Lee and George do not).

After the awards are passed out, the trio is allowed to get a little looser musically. As many of the guests still are milling about, the music signals the end of the night by becoming more aggressive-the ballads will not be heard from the rest of the evening. Some of the more bold of the volunteers ask the band to play SITTIN’ BY THE DOCK OF THE BAY, an obvious choice considering the location of tonight's ceremony. What's not obvious is that these guests want to line-dance to it.

Line-dancing is a type of rhythmic walking and turning around (often stumbling into the person next to you) rumored to have been developed on a dare by a marching band drum major and some cowboys. Legend has it that this form of non-touching 'dancing' was born out of the cowboys' desire to imitate Michael Jackson's 1981 THRILLER video, but then something went horribly wrong. The line-dancing craze reached critical mass in early 1992. Shortly thereafter being overthrown by the brief and unexpected resurgence of the Chicken Dance, and then a second wave of assault came from the Macarena later that same year.

But line-dancing to an Otis Redding song even without a dance floor - Now that's commitment to the form! After a bit of bewilderment at this request, the trio gladly oblige the dancers. And they dance and dance and dance and dance some more. The guys play a sadistic extended marathon version of the song intended to dance these guests through the 3rd floor into the second level of the restaurant. But after the band plows through the chorus for the umpteenth time, the dance troop retires. Even they know when too much is too much.

The final song request of the evening from the volunteers is FOLSOM PRISON BLUES - what is it with these people? Was there some catastrophic chemical spill that turned these kind people in to Johnny Cash-loving-line-dancing mutants? But Matthew belts out the request, closing down the night. Before the guys pack up, they're offered some of the evening's left over desserts: A holy pie trinity. Matthew goes for the pecan pie, Lee the cheesecake, and George the key lime. These are AMAZING! "Whoa...this is great! They could have paid us in pie for all I care!" Lee goes back for a second (or is that a third) piece.

Loading up goes quickly tonight. The three emerge from the restaurant to find the rain has cleared, and left a cooler temperature in its place. With the threesome’s tip money burning a hole in their pockets, they approach one of the boardwalk’s midway games - the 'Squirt-a-Wheel'. The objective of the ‘Squirt-a-Wheel’ is simple: Using a high-pressure water gun, competitors blast a small rotating target 6 feet away. As the target is struck by the stream of water, a cylinder is pushed upwards until crossing the finish line. The three will compete to try to win a stuffed Scooby Doo doll dressed as a pirate. The stakes are high: Lee and George have not recovered from the fact that they did so poorly with the Denny’s crane game a few months ago.

The operator of the game says that 4 players are required to play a round of ‘Squirt-a-Wheel’. “You only have three.” But George WILL NOT BE DENIED the chance to humiliate Lee and Matthew in water-spraying combat! He musters all of his powers of persuasion, using an old Jedi Mind Trick allowing 3 to play instead of the required 4 (actually it was the extra cash he gave the attendant). The bored operator agrees with a sigh of indifference – the rain earlier has made for a slow night, so he’ll let these yahoos fight it out. Lee gets some insider info from the operator that station 11 is the favorite to win. But George is determined to prevail regardless of Lee’s mechanical odds. He strategically positions himself between Matthew and Lee. The lines on George and Lee’s faces intensify. Their postures snap into a stance that resembles WWII tail-gunners. To George’s left, Matthew is still thinking about the pecan pie and, how he wishes he had gone back for another slice.

Without warning, the operator launches the game! The guys scramble to adjust their sprays. George leans over to knock Matthew off the stool, a dirty trick that will cost George some valuable time and ultimately the prize because the lights and buzzer at station 11 are sounding victory. Lee exuberantly waves the Scooby Doo pirate-dog at George and Matthew. They both allow Lee to have his moment of triumph knowing there will be other battles.

The three stand around telling stories and jokes as the ‘Squirt-a-Wheel’ booth closes down for the night. Each joke more outlandish than the previous. The soft glow of neon from the boardwalk is reflected in puddles of fresh rain. The raucous sounds of the trio echo off the slick pavement. From a distance their three silhouettes can be seen spasmodically bouncing around occasionally buckling with laughter - A good night in Kemah.

GP3 @ GRB

George R. Brown Convention Center – Houston Texas

The trio races to the heart of downtown Houston to perform at an upscale gig at the George R. Brown convention center. Hired by a Las Vegas production company wanting to establish a Gulf Coast presence, the GP3 is eager to get started.

For those of you reading this that may not be familiar with the (GRB) George R. Brown Center, it is Houston’s premier meeting area. The facility boasts of having over 1.2 million square feet, 3 levels, 66 loading docks, things like internal a Starbucks Coffee house, and Lee swears that he saw a sign for a landing platform for interplanetary spacecraft. The point is that… IT IS HUGE! So massive in fact that the guys are required to park their three tiny vehicles what seems to be 8 kilometers away in the parking garage of the Hilton hotel.

The guys brush this off as a minor inconvenience, and are anxious to get inside of this architectural behemoth. They slowly roll the ‘1st wave’ of their equipment from the garage across a connecting crosswalk two stories above the street level. Once inside, they are instantly taken aback by the kinetic energy of hundreds of workers scrambling around making last minute touches for the event. The trio watches members of the GRB crew ricochet from point to point. The energy is suffocating as abbreviated last minute instructions are blurted out to caterers, workers, and custodians which bounce around like 1000 marbles thrown into a clothes dryer. “Wow…the Starbucks in here must be set to turbo speed!”

In contrast, the trio’s dolly slowly inches through the complex like a loaded barge (a barge surrounded by 20-30 jet skies and speed boats buzzing around it). No problem though…the band has finally found their destination. Jon and Dan from the production company are all smiles as they greet the group. These two are very personable, and considering the amount of poise they display in the midst of all of this controlled chaos, Matthew thinks they should do very well in Texas with the new company. Jon and Lee break off and head to where the band will be playing tonight and are engulfed in a sea of people scurrying about.

After a few minutes, Lee returns with the news: “Uh…We’re outside - Outside on the balcony.” “Are you kidding? It’s going to rain.” protests George. “Yeah –Outside. But Jon says It’s not going to rain.” George incredulously fires back “How could he possibly he know something like that?” Lee continues, “He said the weatherman said there’d be no rain.” Jon approaches “Hey George, the weather will be fine, the weatherman said so.” “But look at those clouds …what happens if he’s wrong?” “Well, we’ll just move everyone inside. You guys will get paid if even you get rained out and can’t perform.” “Oh…we get paid anyway?" "Yes. Regardless if you play or not." "Oh…Okay –Let’s get to it then!”

The piano and bass equipment is quickly moved on to the stage platform. Matthew, Lee, and his adult daughter begin the trek back to the parking garage for the 2nd load. George is quite pleased with how he has set up his gear in record breaking time. Everything is set and ready to go when Dan informs him that they’re on the wrong balcony! “Your trio is supposed to be set up on the balcony with the George Poe Trio signage.” George is impressed by Dan’s offer to help pack everything up and move to down the corridor to the other balcony. When Matthew returns George tells him “With everything this guy has to do right now he was bustin’ his back to help us relocate.”

Lee returns with the remainder of the equipment. After a quick set up and sound check, everything ready to go. George points out an interesting phenomenon that he’s observed about this venue. “You notice how we’re told the same instructions from three different sources? Like that 1st lady that came up and said ‘You’ll start playing at 6:30’ and then the other two people told us the same thing." Matthew acknowledges this “Yeah, Maybe we’ll be paid three times too (even we get rained out).”

Three of the GRB staff inform the band (at 3 different times) that the trio is welcome to use the ‘Green Room’ provided to them. It’s room 214, 214, 214. Since there’s about 20 minutes to kill, the guys decide to go and see what it’s like to be a ‘Big-time’ performer at the GRB and have a ‘Green Room’.

As they begin searching for the ever elusive room 214 they notice things have settled down inside the convention hall. The workers are all in place doing worker-type things. Foyers are beginning to overflow with the event’s guests. Tonight’s venue is for MPI (Meeting Partners International). The conference is expected to generate $100 million in business for Houston during the next three years, according to historical trends for cities that have hosted MPI conventions. And there's a rumor that the city's mayor, Bill White is somewhere in the building. Maybe in room 214?

As best as the band can surmise, MPI is a group of professional meeting people who get together to network and arrange meetings in order for people to meet people involved meeting people who meet others. You may feel that you are good at presenting yourself during an introduction, but these people are the pros! These individuals are studied in the art of small talk ranging from comments about the weather (‘The weatherman said that it shouldn’t rain tonight’) to who was expunged from the latest reality game show. They have mastered the science of the business card flick. They know exactly how much hand pressure to apply when shaking hands ('web-to-web' and all that). Their most marketable ability is they are able to seem genuinely interested in whoever is speaking to them even though they’re actually not listening at all, but rather contemplating which portrayal of the Daren character on ‘Bewitched’ was superior , Dick York or Dick Sargent .

After ten minutes of walking, the guys are almost back to the parking garage and still no 214! Lee asks one of the servers. The response from the woman comes out as a laugh at first, then she points waaaaaaaayyyyy down to where the four started from. Lee is not pleased. “We go on in 10 minutes!” In silent acknowledgment the group walks back briskly now, as with a purpose.

They finally make it in to 214 - which turns out to be located only 75 feet from the balcony! “Whoa...This is nice.” The three quickly begin to partake of the snacks and sodas left for them. “Come on guys - whoever set all this stuff out will be disappointed if we don’t eat all of this!” At this point one of the handlers come into the green room to see Matthew with a half-eaten jumbo chocolate chip cookie for a mouth. “It’s time to get started.” Matthew acknowledges with "Orffe hvrrmpph fruomff tonnueph." as chocolate chips are sent flying. When the guys make it back to the stage, another coordinator prompts them “Are you guys ready? It’s time to start.” George pauses for a moment and wonders if he should wait for a third contact to tell them to start before proceeding. But the third person never comes, so he launches the trio into the song ALMOST LIKE BEING IN LOVE, and the band is off and running.

The sun is setting, and even though the music from the trio sounds great, little attention is paid to the band. Over 2000 members of MPI resemble a massive hive of bees buzzing over each other, looking to pollinate empty hands with warm palms and business cards. But the trio has a secret weapon of their own: Lee's daughter. She slyly inserts herself into the crowd - talks up the band, and even manages to take some choice pics of the trio.

Partly through the first set, Matthew and George a startled by a fire-blast shooting straight up from the street level below. George actually misses a beat, stunned, until Matthew informs him that the flame is coming up from an art car parked on the street below them. The wind begins to pick up (punctuated every few minutes by the fire blast below). Lee hands George clothes pins to keep the sheet music from being whisked away down Capitol Street. With each gust of wind, George is concerned that Matthew may blow over the balcony's edge. If this happens, it could disrupt the MPI group's meeting each other by forcing them to stop and actually look over in the guy's direction. This must not happen. George realizes that he does not have a big enough clothes pin to hold Matthew to the rail - so they'll just have to chance it, and hope for the best. Fortunately, Matthew doesn't fall. But the wind continues to bombard the guys-but no rain (just like Dan and Jon said).

Pink and lavender hues encircle the entire area. Beams of white randomly criss-cross and slice through the violet refractions. Not to be outdone the fire-geyser from the art car reports from the street every few minutes. Speaking of redundant reporting, the coordinators reappear one by one to inform the guys to take a break at 8:00 for the fire works show: "You'll need to stop at 8:00 for the fireworks." Followed by another "You'll need to stop at 8:00 for the fireworks." then finally : "Remember to stop at 8:00 for the fireworks."

It's 8:00...The guys decide to take a break.

The fireworks show truly is spectacular and brings everyone out on the deck. When it's over the guys capitalize on having a fresh set of ears to play to. George leads in with a savage version of John Hiatt's WHEN YOU HOLD ME TIGHT. He plays so intense on the piano he nearly pushes it off the stand base. "Whew!". To regain their equanimity, the band eases back down into a smooth FLY ME TO THE MOON & DON'T GET AROUND MUCH ANYMORE (both made popular by Frank Sinatra). It's at this point a woman emerges from the crowd and asks Matthew if they play "any songs by Frank Sinatra." Dumbfounded, they agree to play another Sinatra tune.

The three close out the evening playing SPOOKY as the wind begins to subside. They pack up the equipment. Dan calls for a flatbed dolly, but all of them are in use by the caters and he's told "It's gonna be a while." So Matthew and George continue their ridiculous tradition of ice-sculpture licking. This time they have found one in the foyer across from the balcony. They have convinced the bartender into allowing them to stick their tongues to the ice bar. Dan shoots a picture . After waiting for what seems like an eternity for a loading dolly, the three are finally able pack up to go home. As they head north a thin layer of tiny rain droplets begin to bead up on their windshields. "Ah, there it is...No rain tonight."

A 'Red' Tie Affair

Crowne Plaza Hotel – Houston Texas

The last day of the month finds the trio performing for the Crowne Plaza Hotel. This corporation has recently invested thousands of dollars in renovations and has hired GP3 to help celebrate the ‘Re-Grand Opening’ of the Houston facility. The hotel’s major clients and vendors will arrive in mere hours. Matthew and George arrive first to find workman feverously adjusting fixtures, painting doors, hanging plants etc.

There is a bit of apprehensiveness regarding this venue since some pretty significant details were relayed just as the guys were headed to the gig. Apparently, the event’s hostess has expectations, that while are obvious to her, are not standard for the band. Note: The members of the trio pride themselves in being able to ‘roll with the punches’ and adapt to unforeseen requests and needs that arise for the sake of any event. But this organizer assumed that the group knew the entire song catalog of Michael Bublé (seriously, she really thought this). George agrees to work up COME FLY WITH ME and some other tunes to partially satisfy the late demand.

Even more mysterious was the expectation that the trio would automatically divine that they should be wearing red ties to the venue. George received a phone call from the coordinator as he was preparing to leave for the hotel instructing him to ‘remember’ to wear the red ties. “Red ties? Did we discuss this already?” Response: “Oh, I thought you knew that all of our associates around here wear dark jackets and red ties. Do you have red ties?” “Uh…Maybe. I’ll let Matt and Lee know. We’ll see what we can do on short notice. Do you have red ties for us?” “Well the red and black are our colors-you don’t have red ties?” “We’ll try.” George in disbelief, quickly called Lee and Matthew. Normally a requirement such as this would be fairly innocuous for the guys to comply with, but to learn of this as they’re headed out the door to the performance is a bit of a challenge.

Matthew stops off at a nearby Macy’s to use a gift card from his mom that he’s been carrying around since Christmas. He picks up a beautiful silk tie. Being in a mischievous mood, George is considering taking a red marker and a straight edge to draw a tie on his white shirt –but gratefully the thought passes quickly. Lee’s tie doesn’t even attempt to be compliant. It’s got a print of some ponies grazing in a pumpkin patch or something. George admires Lee’s fashion sense of ‘Stickin’ it to the Man’ or rather ‘Stickin’ it to the Hotel’.

The ballroom for the celebration is elegantly lit. Ice sculptures abound positioned below spherical paper lanterns. The room is all a buzz with workers putting on the last minute touches. A team of audio visual technicians are testing projection screens. The trio has been provided a large platform stage to set up on. “Wow! This stage is huge!” This enthusiasm is quickly squelched as it’s learned that over ½ the platform has been allocated to a giant raffle tumbler for the door prizes later in the evening.

To accommodate the large ballroom, the boys have brought with them for the first time the ‘Big Sound System’. This equipment has plenty of firepower for this size event, but it’s more complicated than the small set-up the guys usually take with them. Cords are strewn everywhere - the stage looks a lot like a plate of oversized spaghetti in a wind storm. After a few minutes of cord and wire wrangling, Lee’s patience has expired. He transforms into a drill instructor barking his ‘requests’ to Matthew and George. His frustration is increased as he is forced to deal with George and Matthew’s ineptitude of ‘all things sound related’. These two try to accommodate him by handing him cords and connectors but by their puzzled looks and the redness of Lee’s face, it’s obvious something’s lacking between the ‘workers’ and ‘management’. Lee tries to explain to George what he’s doing with the system, but the result is akin to someone pointing to something for a dog while the animal simply stares at the person’s finger. Lee shifts his explanations to Matthew, but the response is the same. George and Matthew exchange dumb looks, knowing they are out of their depth.

An audio visual guy the hotel has hired emerges from behind the stage and begins to tell Matthew that the bass amp should have a line out that Lee can run straight into the main system. Matthew agrees to let him examine his amplifier. “See…it’s this area right here. You just have to twist… this connector thingy… and…uh.” The AV guy sheepishly hands Matthew the component he’s just broken off. Matthew stares down into the palm of his hand. The technician quickly finds something across the ballroom that needs his attention, and he is not seen again for the rest night.

At this point Geri from the hotel arrives to check to see if the band needs anything. Matthew looks down again at the broken piece. She brings George a brand new red tie. It even has the tag still on it. He gladly accepts (although he secretly wishes for ponies like Lee’s). After she leaves, George admits to Matthew that he is nearly 41 years old and has never learned how to tie a tie. Matthew graciously obliges, and ties it for him. See Matthew's Guide to tying a Windsor Knot Here Lee finishes with the equipment. Lee’s color has returned to normal. The three sound check and then head across the street to Quizno’s for a quick bite to eat.

The trio return, adjust their ties, and go to work. In addition to the group’s core songs, the three introduce a number of new tunes they’ve been working on from Billy Joel, Bonnie Raitt, Sting, Van Morrison, CCR, John Hiatt and others. The new material ignites the three and the excitement spills to the audience. Even though the band stops for the obligatory announcements throughout the evening, the momentum keeps going strong.

Towards the end of the evening, the hotel’s general manager, Al Stento begins the raffle segment. The trio really play this up: Lee’s doing drum rolls, and George and Matthew improvise game show music as winning tickets are drawn. Al responds to this silliness by announcing the winners in his best David Letterman impersonation, throwing the prize cards behind the stage. The band accentuates the card impacts, the crowd loves it.

After the raffle, the evening begins to taper off and the music winds down. Matthew and George convince the servers at the ice sculpture bar to allow them to stick their tongues to the side of the bar (this sadly has become a band tradition between these two) As the guys pack up the equipment, Al and the management thank them and talk of future opportunities. In the parking lot, the trio celebrate that they’ve made it through this potentially disappointing gig unscathed. As George gets into his car and slowly drives away, he looks down at the red tie he’s confiscated and smiles a sly smile.

Matthew Snaps His G-String

Starbucks – Humble Texas

The first event of the New Year finds the trio back at the Humble Starbucks. Due to the inclement weather outside, the threesome abandon the comfort of patio where they normally play and move everything inside. The corner they set up in is more confined; but it’s dry, warm, and better lit than using Lee’s light system. Matthew has coined the phrase the ‘Skylab Set-up Formation’ for these claustrophobic venues that force the band to stack themselves up like Matryoshka nesting dolls.

Despite the cramped quarters, the guys are pleased to be performing again, and really happy to not be playing Christmas tunes. Drewann and husband, Matt arrive first. They sit in the back of the shop, far enough way from the band to maintain deniability of being associated with them. The two are busily programming a new cell phone that he just received from his parents. They feverously click and text each other looking a lot like castanet players with a single castanet each.

The crowd begins to trickle in as the evening builds. George’s mother, Mary and her friend Ronnie arrive as the group debuts a soulful version of The Doors’ PEOPLE ARE STRANGE. This is followed up with the Stones’ HONKY TONK WOMAN which George jokingly dedicates to her. Ronnie is so moved, he reaches for the tip jar. The band leans forward…it’s a…a…Filipino bill! Huh? Ronnie is a missionary http://www.ronrae.org on furlough from the Philippines, and apparently has some leftover currency he needs to dump. “We’re international now!” exclaims Matthew not realizing they’ve just received a tip that’s equivalent to $.45 cents American. George’s brother, Nathan arrives with friend Ellie in time to hear the announcement that Matthew will be gambling the money from the tip jar in Vegas next week. “So every dollar you donate could yield a return of a hundred fold!”

The ‘What Happened on This Day in History’ trivia segment fails to ignite any notable excitement tonight. Perhaps it’s because Matthew is notably self-conscious this evening. His wife made an off-hand remark as he left home that he was now middle-aged. Lee and George ask “How old will you be for your birthday on Tuesday?” “I’ll be 45.” “Then you’ve been middle-aged for five years...What’s the problem?” “I have? Then I can do this middle-age thing in my sleep!” “Yes, you probably will.” George is inspired by Matthew’s ‘predicament’ and dedicates a heartfelt version of THAT LUCKY OLD SUN to him.

Later on, Robert and Eileen respond to the Clapton song WONDERFUL TONIGHT. George lets the audience in on the clown joke parody that the trio does of this tune.

The evening gains momentum with each song. Things are going smoothly until the second time through the Ray Charles song HALLELUJAH, I LOVE HER SO when there is an unfamiliar ‘THWUNK!’ from the bass section. George looks over to see Matthew examining a limp and dangling bass string - Uh oh. Lee and George finish the tune with an overdramatic ending to mask Matthew’s incapacitated bass. Matthew is distraught: First, finding out he’s middle-aged now this. “These strings cost about $100.00 each.”

George instantly switches to telethon mode. “All proceeds from tonight’s performance will be delivered to Matthew. We’re sending him to play the slots in Vegas next week in hopes of winning enough to buy a new G bass string.” Surprisingly, billfolds and purses start coming out and the tip jar begins to fill. Lee secretly looks at his drum set for something that he can break to raise some money of his own. Still in a fundraising mood, George and Lee launch into a number of improvised parodies about a broken bass, G strings in Las Vegas, etc. To be a good sport about it all, Matthew sings his bass parts into the mic. George attempts to persuade Matthew to waltz with the ‘broken’ instrument, but that’s where he draws the line. After a few annoying minutes of persistence, George realizes this is a lost cause. He and Lee finish off the evening with THE CURTAIN FALLS.

The guys pack up early. In the parking lot, Eileen does her best to persuade Lee to buy more Avon for his wife. George narrowly escapes as he rushes out to meet up with Nathan and Ellie before they head back to Austin. Matthew takes the tip jar and goes home to pack for the bright lights of Vegas.

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The 12 Gigs of Christmas

November 15th through December 20th – Various Houston Area Locations

Tonight marks the end of the band’s Christmas/Holiday music season. Lee is packing away the jingle bells, Matthew’s Christmas suspenders and Santa hat will go back in the trunk (hopefully), and the lighted garland on the piano is being unplugged and stowed for the last time of ’07. The trio leaves the final holiday performance to head home to celebrate the season with their families. It’s been a good run – the guys have been playing better than ever and have made many new friends along the way. As GP3 looks towards the 2008 year, they also reflect on some of the highlights of the Christmas gigs over the last month.

Here are some of the more amusing moments:

Nov 15th : Mall of the Mainland
This is the first of the holiday events that the trio has been hired to perform at. The guys watch as ‘Christmas Town’ is constructed before their very eyes... well, almost constructed. Very light customer traffic, but the Corn Dog 7 seems to do well.

Nov 29th : Mall of the Mainland
After the Thanksgiving holiday, the guys return to a finished Winter Wonderland at the mall. Patrons line up for pictures with Santa across from the trio's stage. Matthew and George think that Lee looks more ‘Santa-esque’ than the fellow they’ve got in the red suit. The mall’s owner visits the bandstand and is delighted by the band’s banter with the audience. The guys play right up until a few minutes before closing time when a breaker blows and takes down their sound system and giant reindeer display behind them - oops.

Dec 4th : Duke Energy Christmas Party @ Courtyard on St. James
Lee gets stuck in traffic before the event as he picks up Quizno's sandwiches for Matthew and George. A frustrated Lee stomps up the balcony where they’ll play exclaiming “Never again! Don’t ever send me out for food before a gig EVER again!” George and Matthew can’t resist the chance to push a little harder by laughingly, asking “Where are the chips?” “Chips???” The scowl on Lee’s face resembles the many nutcracker center pieces in the restaurant. More laughter from George and Matthew (Even though they enjoy Lee’s rant, they are grateful and suspect that Lee's not too mad).

The music is solid – the guys have played holiday tunes for weeks and have their footing. The food is great. It's a buffet that could feed all of Santa’s workshop: dark and white chocolate fountains gushing at full speed, giant shrimp the size of small boomerangs. Matthew drinks the iced tea like he’s trying to set a world record.

The guys slip in a few parody songs that loosen up the room. Everyone gets so loose in fact, a few ladies come up the balcony to sing FELIZ NAVIDAD with the band. George’s puckish nature gets the better of him, as he sways two of the older ladies to compete in a ‘Christmas Song Dance-Off’. An act of mischievousness that would make Robin Goodfellow proud, but no one seems to mind.

Matthew concludes the party by announcing “You Duke Energy guys are great… but I’m still not changing energy providers.” (Laughter)

Dec 6th : Mall of the Mainland
Meanwhile, back at the mall…The first set is interrupted when George receives a citation from the Texas City police for being double parked in a fire zone. Later the trio plays the theme from NEW YORK, NEW YORK over and over for the mall’s owner (what a bunch of kiss-ups). During a break much later in the evening, the guys sneak into Santa’s area (closed at 7:00 PM) to take some action photo’s of their own. After it's all done, the three load the equipment in their sleep.
Dec 7th : Craft Show Matthew and George play a 2 ½ hour ‘unplugged session’ at Administaff’s annual Holiday Craft Fair. Local rapper, IBC joins them for a weird version of Adam Sandler's HANUKKAH SONG. Shoppers are delighted to hear live music as they buy everything from handmade birdhouses formed from beer cans, whiskey cake, and poorly painted driftwood that is suspiciously shaped like Rudolph.

Dec 8th : StarBucks Coffee
The trio performs on VERY windy evening outside on the patio. The monthly rummy tournament is interrupted by a gust of wind that sends the playing cards towards the parking lot. In the middle of the first set, Matthew is called away to visit a patient across town. He returns to launch the group into the Christmas parody songs of their alter-ego, Camryn Manheim Steamroller. Parody CDs are awarded to the band’s near-hypothermic guests who stuck around to answer holiday trivia.

Dec 13th : Mall of the Mainland
“Didn’t we just leave here?” The guys return to the mall and are pleased to see the crowds are building. George and Matthew pass out musical instruments to the kids in the audience including jingle bells, triangles, and tambourines. The children (and some parents) play along. Jingling and holiday clanging echo out of the food court and fill the mall. Later, the trio nail a new jazz version of LITTLE DRUMMER BOY (Matthew sings the 'David Bowie' part). When Lee has to take a personal call, Matthew and George try to get Sameer, the kiosk vendor to play drums. But Sameer has too many customers (yes, it's true! The mall has customers - It's a Christmas miracle! God bless us, everyone.). The guys play almost all of the Christmas parodies tonight. George tells Matthew "...If anyone here were listening to what we're singing, they'd string us up. I mean after all...most of these songs are about waiting to the last minute to Christmas shop, holiday credit card debt, Santa's obesity, being too cheap to buy good presents and so on." "Feeling guilty?" "Maybe just a little... yeah, I do." and the group plays five more parodies before calling it a night.

Dec 14th : Jaguar Exploration Christmas Party @ Brenner’s Steakhouse
George is lost...Which is not uncommon - his lack of a sense of direction is legendary. Only this time he's been driving for close to 2 1/2 hours. It's not that he doesn't like maps or anything - he does, he thinks they're pretty and all. The problem is that the maps never have a tiny picture of where his car is at a given moment. Even if it did, it probably wouldn't matter. In truth, George could get lost operating a train on railway tracks.

Matthew arrives to the steakhouse to find only Lee in the parking lot. "Where's George?" "I don't know. He should have been here by now." "What do you mean?" Lee explains, "I talked to him over 45 minutes ago, and based on where he was he should have beaten both of us here." "Hmmm." "What?" Matthew cautiously admits, "He called me too... for directions."

Lee attempts to call George's cell again, but there's no answer. Lee dials again. "Lee, if he's not answering, it's probably for the best. You won't want to talk to him if he's frustrated." Lee ignores the warning and calls one more time. But George doesn't answer because he's on the line with his wife, Sabrina. She has logged on to her home computer and 'Mapquested' where he is, and is painstakingly directing him street by street towards the destination. The whole experience is a little like the movie Airport 75 except George is in the Karen Black role instead of playing Chuck Heston's part.

George finally arrives with just minutes spare. Although he doesn't deserve it, Matthew and Lee are amazingly gracious to George about taking so long. Since this is an 'unplugged' venue, the three are playing again as soon as the piano is plopped down in position. This particular event is unique because the trio has been hired to perform instrumental only versions of the the Christmas music they've been playing -no singing. The dining area is small and quaint, but because of its size and volume constraints, Lee is forced to play more softly than ever before. Matthew and George are impressed that he's able to keep the tempo on the upbeat songs while remaining so quiet.

And even though the group is supposed to only be background music, they still receive polite applause throughout the evening. Matthew is surprised by this since it's equal to clapping for the restaurant's wallpaper. The only other time that the trio are officially acknowledged is when some of the dinner guests who are seated in front of the closet where the cases are are asked to move so the guys can pack up. The trio leave, but this time George follows Lee home to the interstate.

Dec 20th : Mall of the MainlandThe guys setup in front of a group of people already seated and ready to 'get their jingle on'. Knowing that this is the last scheduled event of the year for the trio gives the boys an extra burst of enthusiasm which shines through the music. Song highlights include an extended (and very dynamic) jazz instrumental of ANGELS WE HAVE HEARD ON HIGH evenly tempered with a New Orleans style version of FROSTY THE SNOWMAN.

The audience senses this loose, no-holes barred attitude that defines the evening, and many approach the stage. Some talk to the group, some ask to sing, some even are invited up to play. A troop of League City Intermediate School students get into the act when George finds out that they are in the school's band program. He and Matthew pass out the jingle bell instruments. The youngsters instantly chime and jingle along as the GP3 plays THE LITTLE DRUMMER BOY (a song perfect for the extra percussion). As soon as the middle school pupils leave, a young man named James asks Lee if he could play the drum kit with him. Lee agrees and the two rock out on RUDOLPH. Lee takes a seat in the audience as James plays CHEAP and HOUSTON CHRISTMAS BLUES. Matthew and George don't seem to mind. The final 'special guest performance' is given by Jennifer (A.K.A.Jingle Belle) from the shoe store. The band met her last Thursday and invited her to come back and sing tonight. She chooses Nat King Cole's THE CHRISTMAS SONG and SANTA BABY with the band serving as backup.

The trio is delighted that everyone is feeling at home enough to be a part of the show. But all of the 'extras' make the time pass very quickly tonight; it's almost time to go. Matthew suggests that the three finish with AULD LANG SYNE since the trio won't play together again until after the New Year. Lee says "That was nice, but we can't go out on slow song tonight. Let's play something upbeat. What's that Eagles' song? You know that Christmas song from the Eagles?" George and Matthew are shaken loose from the sentimentality of AULD LANG SYNE and comply. The night finishes with a rousing COME HOME FOR CHRISTMAS. As the final 'chimes' of the song are played, George's smile can not be contained. He is warmed by the fact that these are the final notes to be played by the trio this year. He smiles first at Lee, then Matthew who return the gesture then punctuate the end with a big rock n roll G7 chord punch.

And with that, the GP3 Christmas music season closes for 2007.
We'd like to conclude the last blog of the 2007 year with a message from George himself:

Thanks to everyone who has lent support to us over the past year. Whether this was demonstrated by coming out to participate at an event, hiring us, heckling us, or simply, reading these blog pages every week, the gift of your friendship and encouragement has urged us on. When we look back over what our little rag-tag trio has been allowed to do over the first five months, we are both humbled and astonished. We look forward to new adventures in 2008 and invite you come along.

'Have a merry Christmas and a wonderful start of the New Year.'George, Matthew, and Lee

Fa-La-La-Lollapalooza

Mall of the Mainland – Texas City

After the Thanksgiving break, the guys head back to the mall…not to shop – but to perform. The food court has been transformed into a mystical winterland. There are two giant reindeers which form an arch at behind the band’s stage. Balanced between their two noses is a majestic Christmas wreath. All of this is lit up, making a splendid backdrop for the guys. Matthew and George joke about climbing onto these beasts to sing a song or two. George is pleased to eat the words he said during the last visit about ‘Mall of the Wasteland’. Reagan and the decorating crew really came through for this place. The mall even feels a little cooler temperature tonight.

The band loads in. George gets caught up in the Christmas spirit and offers to buy Lee a bag of theater popcorn from the megaplex across from the bandstand. The two ask for a small bag and the workers behind the counter produce a comically small sack that has to be less than 5 inches tall. Lee and George exchange bewildered looks then back at the counter. “Is this the courtesy cup size? I mean, you can’t even put a fist in there. What’s the next size up? (pointing) How much does that one cost?” “It costs $4.75… but believe me, that’s a good price.” “Compared to what?” The counter person acts as if he’s relaying some insider trading information by leaning over to them and admitting in a hushed tone “…next month it’s going up even more – so today’s price is really deal.” George is not convinced, but concedes for Lee’s sake. George makes a crack about having to have a co-signer at the concession stand these days and the two head back to unload.


Matthew is already set up. He’s wearing green Larry King-like suspenders with little white Christmas trees running down them. Very stylish – and hip (if you're 78). Lee and George play the ‘Door-Not-Door game’ with the flatbed dolly and the series of locked and unlocked mis-sized doors. After a quick set-up of the remaining gear, the guys kick off the set with WINTER WONDERLAND. A few measures in, Sameer, the worker from one of the small kiosks, approaches speaking in his cell phone. He tells George that mall security says the Texas City Police are outside at his car?


George leaps from the stage and races to the mall’s exit. He slams into one of the locked ‘decoy’ doors. He makes his way outside in time to see the officer emerge from the patrol car. George introduces himself and explains that he’s parked here to unload musical equipment for the event inside. And that he simply forgot to return to move the car. After Officer Ostermayer runs a check on the car’s plates, he writes up a warning citation for being in a red zone. George thanks him for ‘letting him off this time’ and promises to be more attentive in the future.

Meanwhile, back inside Lee is asked by an African-American man if the trio will be playing WHITE CHRISTMAS. Lee says yes. The man cocks his head and squints “So you WILL be playing WHITE CHRISTMAS?” Uh…Lee isn’t exactly sure how to respond to this. Gratefully he doesn’t have to – George returns to the stage and dedicates the first set to Officer Ostermayer of the Texas City P.D.

The music settles in quickly and mall patrons begin to gather and sit in the chairs that have been put out in front of the stage. George grimaces when he sings “...and I’ve got some corn for popping…” remembering the imminent popcorn increase as looks over to Lee. A few tunes later, Mayer (the owner of the mall) checks in on the guys. He is impressed that George remembers his name from the ribbon cutting event back in September. He asks for a very non-holiday song from the group: THEME FROM NEW YORK, NEW YORK. Having not ever played it, the guys do an alright delivery, faking through it every step of the way. They are relieved to have made it through without exposing the bluff (whew). But Mayer likes it so much he asks for them to play it again. Then again when his assistant Kelly arrives. By this take, the trio starts sounding pretty good with it. So much so that they decide to add the tune to their repertoire.

Speaking of new music: Matthew decides to introduce a new holiday parody after Mayer leaves. It’s a joke version of Pink Floyd’s BREATHE he’s written called WREATH. The mall Santa leaves his post promptly at 7:00 P.M (no doubt to check the toy inventory levels of the North Pole). The guys sneak over into 'Santa Land' and talk Sameer into taking some action photos of them in St. Nick's chair. Afterwards, Matthew heads over to his favorite Vietnamese deli, 'Hello Josephine' in the food court to brush up on his dialect with Wang. George follows Sameer back to the phone accessory kiosk. For months, George has been on a quest to find the perfect cradle/holster for his phone. His searching is equivalent to the zeal of Ponce de León for the fountain of youth or the crusaders for the Holy Grail. Sameer doesn’t have what he needs, but George persuades him to order one to arrive for a future visit of the trio.

The group returns to the stage as George sings a delicate and haunting version of HARK THE HERALD ANGELS SING. He tests the limits of the court’s acoustics as the sound of his voice gently, but firmly reverberates off of the ceilings and walls down the corridors of the marketplace. It feels as if time itself slows for a few moments - it is truly spectacular. Never considering himself a ‘bonafide singer’, George even surprises himself…then he has a surprise of a different type when a bug flies into his mouth at full speed causing him to choke and end the song prematurely. Matthew sings a few more parody songs while George recuperates from the kamikaze gnat attack.


The night’s final song unexpectedly ends up being the Eagles’ COME HOME FOR CHRISTMAS due to an electrical circuit blowing. The band’s board is plugged into the same breaker as the 10ft reindeer backdrop. Lee begins to shout “Mayday! Mayday! Reindeer Down…We blew out a reindeer!” The guys decide to pack it in as the listeners disperse. But the guys have a lot of silly still left in them. Each takes a turn doing impersonations of singer James Brown. Matthew singing ‘Fax Machine’. Lee surfs the flatbed dolly. George rips the black skirt from the piano and drapes over his shoulders “Ooooh! Ya Killin’ Me Baby!” Eventually the threesome regain their composure as the conversation moves to wether or not George genuinely knows someone who met Harry S Truman once and the like. As they say their farewells in the parking lot, George glances over to check his car windshield to see if there are anymore citations. George snatches the overpriced popcorn from Lee before he tosses it in the trash and the three head back home to Houston.