"Do You Take This Band to Be Your Wedding Band?"

Dillard's Bridal/Fashion Show (Mall of the Mainland) – Texas City, Texas

The trio is out the door bright and early this Saturday morning. The guys have to be to the mall in Texas City (50+ miles away) by 8:30 A.M in order to set up their booth for the bridal show. The three are excited about distributing their media kits to the brides-to-be who will stop by their little table in the mall. They have also made arrangements with the mall management to play their instruments, so passersby can get a sense of a live GP3 experience. Since Valentine's day was just two days ago, romance is still in the air. This is a great time for any bridal business to push their wares for spring and summer wedding customers.

As soon as the band arrives, they are greeted by Kelly from the mall. She takes them to their booth spot. Lee and George acknowledge to each other that it's in a good location. Their area is situated near the middle of the other booths and displays. Perfect for today's enterprise. Then Kelly says something peculiar: "Now, let me take you to your other spot that you'll be playing later." "Other spot?", asks Lee. "Yes, the catwalk for the fashion show." Kelly gleefully replies. As she leads the two into the center of the mall, George whispers to Lee "What is going on here? We are supposed to play in two spots?" Lee answers "I don't know...I never discussed playing a fashion show with her either." George's lips aren't moving, but his disdain is obvious: "This is a scam...a scam just like all of those Christmas gigs for them last year, the wrong name on the checks, and all that other stuff. Why do we keep putting ourselves through this?" "I don't know...let's just be cool, and see what's going on."

Kelly has picked up on the fact that Lee and George are displeased. "Is there a problem?" Lee respectfully protests "When this place fills up, we won't be able to pack up, move, and then set up again to play a second session in a different location. Kelly, that's just not realistic." George acknowledges that Lee is right. Even though the guys are fairly fast at setting up, it still takes about 20 minutes to move and set everything up. (15 minutes depending on how much caffeine Lee has had).

Matthew arrives to the area lugging some equipment. "What's up?" George and Lee explain that there has been a 'misunderstanding'. Matthew's comprehension of the request is instant "What are we... a NASCAR pit crew?" At this point, Kelly attempts to defend her point. "Well, you are at a Bridal Fashion Show. I thought you would know that you're supposed to play the fashion show." "You're changing the original agreement, we were to have a paid booth to play a little and pass out press kits. We can play the show or the booth but not both. George and Lee wonder if there are there any other 'modifications' that they have not been informed of like -are they to wear the dresses for the fashion too?" (Although George is up for it, Lee may have an issue with the pumps.) This tug-of-war continues until Kelly agrees to allow the guys to set up in one spot and not move.

Lee, George, and Matthew eventually acquiesce and agree to play the fashion walk pro bono. George thinks it will be fun, despite feeling that they've been snookered. Sensing weakness, Kelly moves in for the kill..."So you'll play this morning from 9:30 'til 12:30 whatever music you want. Then we'll start the bridal fashion show at 12:30 and you'll play for 30 minutes or so as the girls model the designer wedding dresses." "So you want us to be here past 1:00?" "Or whenever the fashion show is over." George looks over at Matthew then back at her. "Kelly, not to be difficult about all of this, but Matthew has a prior commitment back in Houston. We understood that we'd perform 2 1/2 hours. So we planned to be done at noon. "Since blaming the band doesn't seem to be getting her anywhere, Kelly takes a different tactic and begins to blame her new assistant for the confusion. George offers to play the assistant's voice mail message to his cell phone for Kelly. At this point she concedes and nervously asks "Can he be to his appointment later? We really want you three to play the fashion show."

Matthew makes a few phone calls and changes his plans. Kelly says "Great!" and quickly leaves the area before the guys come to their senses. Lee shakes his head as George whispers to him that George will never play the Mall of the Mainland ever again. Lee secretly believes that he can persuade him to change his mind. George secretly knows what Lee is thinking, and secretly thinks that he can change Lee's mind to not want to change his.

Within a few minutes (18.5 to be exact) the trio is set up and finished with their sound check. And despite the earlier disagreements with Kelly, the band is in fine working order, doing what they do best - playing music. Every so often, George (laughingly) keeps announcing this is their farewell Mall of the Mainland performance. Greeted by eye-rolling and grins from Matthew and Lee.

The band is set up in an alcove positioned between a Zale's Jewelers on the left and a Kay's Jewelers on the right. George dedicates the song WRAPPED AROUND YOUR FINGER to both companies and suggests that the two have a 'Jewel Off'. Then he jokingly announces that both stores are offering special 1/2 off discounts today in honor of the bridal fair (for a limited time). The sales reps are good sports about it, and one of them, Logan, even requests "...some Billy Joel, Please." YOU MAY BE RIGHT (I MAY BE CRAZY) is the band's musical response.

An interesting looking gent approaches the trio during a break, and introduces himself as 'Mr. Hand'. (No one knows his real name - just the stage name, 'Mr. Hand'). At first glance, he looks a little like a Amish Crocodile Dundee . He says that he 'digs the music' and that he is also a performer in a band called MUNDOTRIBE (www.mundotribe.com). Lee is excited to learn that 'Mr. Hand' is a fellow percussionist, having performed at many world music venues like RaggaeFest and the like. But Matthew and George don't hear any of it, as they start acting out every 'Mr. Hand' character reference they can come up with.

In between songs, Matthew assumes the role of stamping the GP3 square on the 'Bridal Bingo' cards that ladies bring to him. This is a tactic that the organizers have come up with to ensure that the patrons visit every booth at the show. One must have all of the bingo squares stamped in order to be eligible for the door prize drawing - a stretch limo ride for you wedding. The problem is that there is no one at the GP3 booth down the way (since the trio is playing at the catwalk area), so the brides-to-be are very pleased when they find Matthew merrily stamping away as if he's validating parking for everyone in the city.

The time is 12:45 when the bridal fashion show finally begins. The wedding dresses look SPECTACULAR! The models are beautiful as they effortlessly glide down the runway like rainwater down a rose. They move and sway with elegant precision to the trio's music. One could never tell that the song selections were decided just moments before by Matthew and George. To listen you would think that the trio had been rehearsing for this moment for all their lives. Each tune fluently flows from one to the next with a perfect tempo for the walk.The trio plays ONE MORE KISS DEAR / I CAN'T HELP FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOU / SHE'S GOT A WAY /WONDERFUL TONIGHT and draw to a close with HAVE I TOLD YOU LATELY THAT I LOVE YOU.

After the fashion show, Matthew resumes his stamping as Lee and George continue playing. They stop briefly to take a group photo with the models in the dresses. Matthew dedicates the last song of the day to the oddest booth at the exhibit - Palmer Highway Chiropractic. "What is a chiropractor doing at a bridal fair???" The band plays the Nat King Cole favorite STRAIGHTEN UP (AND FLY RIGHT).

As the guys pack up, several good connections are made with the event visitors. They even land a wedding for later in the year based on today's performance. As George and Lee walk by the band's promotion table, they are pleased to see that it's has been cleaned out. Only a few scattered business cards remain. Matthew rushes away to his delayed appointment back in Houston. Lee and George visit the Jack-In-the-Box across from the mall for a quick bite. They talk and laugh for a bit as the afternoon unwinds. As they drive away from the mall, George salutes the sad, dilapidated 'al Of he ain and' sign (translated: Mall of the Mainland) once again, knowing it will be the last visit.

Sittin' On the Dock of the Bay

Landry’s Seafood Restaurant – Kemah Texas

It’s a rainy Tuesday evening at the boardwalk in Kemah. BP of Texas City has hired the trio to play for their annual employee volunteer appreciation dinner. The three begin setting up in an elegant banquet room on the third floor of Landry's seafood restaurant. Set up goes remarkably smooth due to Lee's recent construction of a portable, self-contained case for the sound equipment. The guys have nicknamed the new addition 'The GP5000'. They just roll it into place, plug it in, and 'Voilà!' it's ready to go. No more confusion and aggravation about which cord goes where in the p.a.

In contrast, the Landry's crew are busy trying to assemble a dance floor for the evening. Several of them are sliding 3 x 3 wooden squares around on the carpet directly in front of the band. Each tile square has an interlocking connection on the four corners that have to be placed in a specific order to join up with the other tiles. The members of the the crew are becoming increasingly frustrated as they fight to solve the pattern. Normally Lee is not a mean-spirited guy, but he does take pleasure in the fact that it's not him struggling against the clock to set up . Matthew and George vocalize this sentiment by mildly heckling the crew. "I feel like I'm watching some reality show game challenge." "Yeah, it looks like their playing a giant version of one of those sliding puzzle games." The friendly banter continues on until the trio decide to go downstairs for a bite to eat. The crew is relieved the band is gone-now maybe they can concentrate and get this blasted Rubic's cube of a floor setup!

Once down stairs, the guys treat themselves to warm bowls of Landry's gumbo. The mood is relaxed, due largely to the easy setup (courtesy of the GP5000). The three talk about the evening's venue. Matthew points out the irony of being paid to perform at an event that celebrates volunteerism. Lee and George threaten to throw his bass in the bay if he mentions any of this 'Crazy Talk' to Iris, the evening's hostess. Matthew looks out the window as the waves lap the dock then stares back down into his half-eaten bowl of gumbo.

After a brief dinner, the trio return upstairs to find they are the only ones here. No more hustle and bustle, as the Landry's crew have abandoned the area. It would appear that the wooden tiles have won, as there is not a single square anywhere in the room! "I can't believe that they just...Gave Up! That's too funny!" The band goes to work starting with mainly jazz instrumentals. A few minutes later, Iris and Lakeisha give some last minute instructions. The people trickle in, and look pleased to be inside where it's dry and warm. The trio's soothing jazz tones blanket the room with a welcome audible canopy.

Being two days before valentine's day, many of the tunes tonight are ballads and love songs. George occasionally breaks from character to play volunteer themed titles like ONLY YOU, CHANGE THE WORLD, etc. As the evening progresses, he becomes more bold by leading the group into playing anything that pops into his head like version of Aaron Neville's YELLOW MOON and I’M NOT THE MAN YOU THINK I AM (BUT I’M THE MAN FOR YOU). Even stranger still, George announces that today is the 199th anniversary of the birth of Charles Darwin – “...and whether or not you agree with his theories of evolution, this individual has done more for the advancement of simian relations (specifically monkeys and apes) than Jane Goodall, Cheeta, and Chim-Chim combined.” Then the band plays the Nat King Cole song STRAIGHTEN UP AND FLY RIGHT in which the misadventures of a monkey flying on the back of a buzzard are told.

Finally, the evening's presenter, Kathy takes the stage. She thanks the volunteers (George and Lee give Matthew a sharp 'Don't say a Word about the money' look) then she shows a video of BP volunteer highlights from the past year. Next to address the audience is Iris. Halfway through her presentation Matthew is busted by her as he attempts to get Lee’s attention “Pssst..Pssst...Lee...” Iris turns around thinking he's trying to get her attention. Matthew face turns as red as if he’d been caught passing note in grade school. Iris forgives him (but Lee and George do not).

After the awards are passed out, the trio is allowed to get a little looser musically. As many of the guests still are milling about, the music signals the end of the night by becoming more aggressive-the ballads will not be heard from the rest of the evening. Some of the more bold of the volunteers ask the band to play SITTIN’ BY THE DOCK OF THE BAY, an obvious choice considering the location of tonight's ceremony. What's not obvious is that these guests want to line-dance to it.

Line-dancing is a type of rhythmic walking and turning around (often stumbling into the person next to you) rumored to have been developed on a dare by a marching band drum major and some cowboys. Legend has it that this form of non-touching 'dancing' was born out of the cowboys' desire to imitate Michael Jackson's 1981 THRILLER video, but then something went horribly wrong. The line-dancing craze reached critical mass in early 1992. Shortly thereafter being overthrown by the brief and unexpected resurgence of the Chicken Dance, and then a second wave of assault came from the Macarena later that same year.

But line-dancing to an Otis Redding song even without a dance floor - Now that's commitment to the form! After a bit of bewilderment at this request, the trio gladly oblige the dancers. And they dance and dance and dance and dance some more. The guys play a sadistic extended marathon version of the song intended to dance these guests through the 3rd floor into the second level of the restaurant. But after the band plows through the chorus for the umpteenth time, the dance troop retires. Even they know when too much is too much.

The final song request of the evening from the volunteers is FOLSOM PRISON BLUES - what is it with these people? Was there some catastrophic chemical spill that turned these kind people in to Johnny Cash-loving-line-dancing mutants? But Matthew belts out the request, closing down the night. Before the guys pack up, they're offered some of the evening's left over desserts: A holy pie trinity. Matthew goes for the pecan pie, Lee the cheesecake, and George the key lime. These are AMAZING! "Whoa...this is great! They could have paid us in pie for all I care!" Lee goes back for a second (or is that a third) piece.

Loading up goes quickly tonight. The three emerge from the restaurant to find the rain has cleared, and left a cooler temperature in its place. With the threesome’s tip money burning a hole in their pockets, they approach one of the boardwalk’s midway games - the 'Squirt-a-Wheel'. The objective of the ‘Squirt-a-Wheel’ is simple: Using a high-pressure water gun, competitors blast a small rotating target 6 feet away. As the target is struck by the stream of water, a cylinder is pushed upwards until crossing the finish line. The three will compete to try to win a stuffed Scooby Doo doll dressed as a pirate. The stakes are high: Lee and George have not recovered from the fact that they did so poorly with the Denny’s crane game a few months ago.

The operator of the game says that 4 players are required to play a round of ‘Squirt-a-Wheel’. “You only have three.” But George WILL NOT BE DENIED the chance to humiliate Lee and Matthew in water-spraying combat! He musters all of his powers of persuasion, using an old Jedi Mind Trick allowing 3 to play instead of the required 4 (actually it was the extra cash he gave the attendant). The bored operator agrees with a sigh of indifference – the rain earlier has made for a slow night, so he’ll let these yahoos fight it out. Lee gets some insider info from the operator that station 11 is the favorite to win. But George is determined to prevail regardless of Lee’s mechanical odds. He strategically positions himself between Matthew and Lee. The lines on George and Lee’s faces intensify. Their postures snap into a stance that resembles WWII tail-gunners. To George’s left, Matthew is still thinking about the pecan pie and, how he wishes he had gone back for another slice.

Without warning, the operator launches the game! The guys scramble to adjust their sprays. George leans over to knock Matthew off the stool, a dirty trick that will cost George some valuable time and ultimately the prize because the lights and buzzer at station 11 are sounding victory. Lee exuberantly waves the Scooby Doo pirate-dog at George and Matthew. They both allow Lee to have his moment of triumph knowing there will be other battles.

The three stand around telling stories and jokes as the ‘Squirt-a-Wheel’ booth closes down for the night. Each joke more outlandish than the previous. The soft glow of neon from the boardwalk is reflected in puddles of fresh rain. The raucous sounds of the trio echo off the slick pavement. From a distance their three silhouettes can be seen spasmodically bouncing around occasionally buckling with laughter - A good night in Kemah.

GP3 @ GRB

George R. Brown Convention Center – Houston Texas

The trio races to the heart of downtown Houston to perform at an upscale gig at the George R. Brown convention center. Hired by a Las Vegas production company wanting to establish a Gulf Coast presence, the GP3 is eager to get started.

For those of you reading this that may not be familiar with the (GRB) George R. Brown Center, it is Houston’s premier meeting area. The facility boasts of having over 1.2 million square feet, 3 levels, 66 loading docks, things like internal a Starbucks Coffee house, and Lee swears that he saw a sign for a landing platform for interplanetary spacecraft. The point is that… IT IS HUGE! So massive in fact that the guys are required to park their three tiny vehicles what seems to be 8 kilometers away in the parking garage of the Hilton hotel.

The guys brush this off as a minor inconvenience, and are anxious to get inside of this architectural behemoth. They slowly roll the ‘1st wave’ of their equipment from the garage across a connecting crosswalk two stories above the street level. Once inside, they are instantly taken aback by the kinetic energy of hundreds of workers scrambling around making last minute touches for the event. The trio watches members of the GRB crew ricochet from point to point. The energy is suffocating as abbreviated last minute instructions are blurted out to caterers, workers, and custodians which bounce around like 1000 marbles thrown into a clothes dryer. “Wow…the Starbucks in here must be set to turbo speed!”

In contrast, the trio’s dolly slowly inches through the complex like a loaded barge (a barge surrounded by 20-30 jet skies and speed boats buzzing around it). No problem though…the band has finally found their destination. Jon and Dan from the production company are all smiles as they greet the group. These two are very personable, and considering the amount of poise they display in the midst of all of this controlled chaos, Matthew thinks they should do very well in Texas with the new company. Jon and Lee break off and head to where the band will be playing tonight and are engulfed in a sea of people scurrying about.

After a few minutes, Lee returns with the news: “Uh…We’re outside - Outside on the balcony.” “Are you kidding? It’s going to rain.” protests George. “Yeah –Outside. But Jon says It’s not going to rain.” George incredulously fires back “How could he possibly he know something like that?” Lee continues, “He said the weatherman said there’d be no rain.” Jon approaches “Hey George, the weather will be fine, the weatherman said so.” “But look at those clouds …what happens if he’s wrong?” “Well, we’ll just move everyone inside. You guys will get paid if even you get rained out and can’t perform.” “Oh…we get paid anyway?" "Yes. Regardless if you play or not." "Oh…Okay –Let’s get to it then!”

The piano and bass equipment is quickly moved on to the stage platform. Matthew, Lee, and his adult daughter begin the trek back to the parking garage for the 2nd load. George is quite pleased with how he has set up his gear in record breaking time. Everything is set and ready to go when Dan informs him that they’re on the wrong balcony! “Your trio is supposed to be set up on the balcony with the George Poe Trio signage.” George is impressed by Dan’s offer to help pack everything up and move to down the corridor to the other balcony. When Matthew returns George tells him “With everything this guy has to do right now he was bustin’ his back to help us relocate.”

Lee returns with the remainder of the equipment. After a quick set up and sound check, everything ready to go. George points out an interesting phenomenon that he’s observed about this venue. “You notice how we’re told the same instructions from three different sources? Like that 1st lady that came up and said ‘You’ll start playing at 6:30’ and then the other two people told us the same thing." Matthew acknowledges this “Yeah, Maybe we’ll be paid three times too (even we get rained out).”

Three of the GRB staff inform the band (at 3 different times) that the trio is welcome to use the ‘Green Room’ provided to them. It’s room 214, 214, 214. Since there’s about 20 minutes to kill, the guys decide to go and see what it’s like to be a ‘Big-time’ performer at the GRB and have a ‘Green Room’.

As they begin searching for the ever elusive room 214 they notice things have settled down inside the convention hall. The workers are all in place doing worker-type things. Foyers are beginning to overflow with the event’s guests. Tonight’s venue is for MPI (Meeting Partners International). The conference is expected to generate $100 million in business for Houston during the next three years, according to historical trends for cities that have hosted MPI conventions. And there's a rumor that the city's mayor, Bill White is somewhere in the building. Maybe in room 214?

As best as the band can surmise, MPI is a group of professional meeting people who get together to network and arrange meetings in order for people to meet people involved meeting people who meet others. You may feel that you are good at presenting yourself during an introduction, but these people are the pros! These individuals are studied in the art of small talk ranging from comments about the weather (‘The weatherman said that it shouldn’t rain tonight’) to who was expunged from the latest reality game show. They have mastered the science of the business card flick. They know exactly how much hand pressure to apply when shaking hands ('web-to-web' and all that). Their most marketable ability is they are able to seem genuinely interested in whoever is speaking to them even though they’re actually not listening at all, but rather contemplating which portrayal of the Daren character on ‘Bewitched’ was superior , Dick York or Dick Sargent .

After ten minutes of walking, the guys are almost back to the parking garage and still no 214! Lee asks one of the servers. The response from the woman comes out as a laugh at first, then she points waaaaaaaayyyyy down to where the four started from. Lee is not pleased. “We go on in 10 minutes!” In silent acknowledgment the group walks back briskly now, as with a purpose.

They finally make it in to 214 - which turns out to be located only 75 feet from the balcony! “Whoa...This is nice.” The three quickly begin to partake of the snacks and sodas left for them. “Come on guys - whoever set all this stuff out will be disappointed if we don’t eat all of this!” At this point one of the handlers come into the green room to see Matthew with a half-eaten jumbo chocolate chip cookie for a mouth. “It’s time to get started.” Matthew acknowledges with "Orffe hvrrmpph fruomff tonnueph." as chocolate chips are sent flying. When the guys make it back to the stage, another coordinator prompts them “Are you guys ready? It’s time to start.” George pauses for a moment and wonders if he should wait for a third contact to tell them to start before proceeding. But the third person never comes, so he launches the trio into the song ALMOST LIKE BEING IN LOVE, and the band is off and running.

The sun is setting, and even though the music from the trio sounds great, little attention is paid to the band. Over 2000 members of MPI resemble a massive hive of bees buzzing over each other, looking to pollinate empty hands with warm palms and business cards. But the trio has a secret weapon of their own: Lee's daughter. She slyly inserts herself into the crowd - talks up the band, and even manages to take some choice pics of the trio.

Partly through the first set, Matthew and George a startled by a fire-blast shooting straight up from the street level below. George actually misses a beat, stunned, until Matthew informs him that the flame is coming up from an art car parked on the street below them. The wind begins to pick up (punctuated every few minutes by the fire blast below). Lee hands George clothes pins to keep the sheet music from being whisked away down Capitol Street. With each gust of wind, George is concerned that Matthew may blow over the balcony's edge. If this happens, it could disrupt the MPI group's meeting each other by forcing them to stop and actually look over in the guy's direction. This must not happen. George realizes that he does not have a big enough clothes pin to hold Matthew to the rail - so they'll just have to chance it, and hope for the best. Fortunately, Matthew doesn't fall. But the wind continues to bombard the guys-but no rain (just like Dan and Jon said).

Pink and lavender hues encircle the entire area. Beams of white randomly criss-cross and slice through the violet refractions. Not to be outdone the fire-geyser from the art car reports from the street every few minutes. Speaking of redundant reporting, the coordinators reappear one by one to inform the guys to take a break at 8:00 for the fire works show: "You'll need to stop at 8:00 for the fireworks." Followed by another "You'll need to stop at 8:00 for the fireworks." then finally : "Remember to stop at 8:00 for the fireworks."

It's 8:00...The guys decide to take a break.

The fireworks show truly is spectacular and brings everyone out on the deck. When it's over the guys capitalize on having a fresh set of ears to play to. George leads in with a savage version of John Hiatt's WHEN YOU HOLD ME TIGHT. He plays so intense on the piano he nearly pushes it off the stand base. "Whew!". To regain their equanimity, the band eases back down into a smooth FLY ME TO THE MOON & DON'T GET AROUND MUCH ANYMORE (both made popular by Frank Sinatra). It's at this point a woman emerges from the crowd and asks Matthew if they play "any songs by Frank Sinatra." Dumbfounded, they agree to play another Sinatra tune.

The three close out the evening playing SPOOKY as the wind begins to subside. They pack up the equipment. Dan calls for a flatbed dolly, but all of them are in use by the caters and he's told "It's gonna be a while." So Matthew and George continue their ridiculous tradition of ice-sculpture licking. This time they have found one in the foyer across from the balcony. They have convinced the bartender into allowing them to stick their tongues to the ice bar. Dan shoots a picture . After waiting for what seems like an eternity for a loading dolly, the three are finally able pack up to go home. As they head north a thin layer of tiny rain droplets begin to bead up on their windshields. "Ah, there it is...No rain tonight."