Thursday, January 31, 2008

A 'Red' Tie Affair

Crowne Plaza Hotel – Houston Texas

The last day of the month finds the trio performing for the Crowne Plaza Hotel. This corporation has recently invested thousands of dollars in renovations and has hired GP3 to help celebrate the ‘Re-Grand Opening’ of the Houston facility. The hotel’s major clients and vendors will arrive in mere hours. Matthew and George arrive first to find workman feverously adjusting fixtures, painting doors, hanging plants etc.

There is a bit of apprehensiveness regarding this venue since some pretty significant details were relayed just as the guys were headed to the gig. Apparently, the event’s hostess has expectations, that while are obvious to her, are not standard for the band. Note: The members of the trio pride themselves in being able to ‘roll with the punches’ and adapt to unforeseen requests and needs that arise for the sake of any event. But this organizer assumed that the group knew the entire song catalog of
Michael Bublé (seriously, she really thought this). George agrees to work up COME FLY WITH ME and some other tunes to partially satisfy the late demand.

Even more mysterious was the expectation that the trio would automatically divine that they should be wearing red ties to the venue. George received a phone call from the coordinator as he was preparing to leave for the hotel instructing him to ‘remember’ to wear the red ties. “Red ties? Did we discuss this already?” Response: “Oh, I thought you knew that all of our associates around here wear dark jackets and red ties. Do you have red ties?” “Uh…Maybe. I’ll let Matt and Lee know. We’ll see what we can do on short notice. Do you have red ties for us?” “Well the red and black are our colors-you don’t have red ties?” “We’ll try.” George in disbelief, quickly called Lee and Matthew. Normally a requirement such as this would be fairly innocuous for the guys to comply with, but to learn of this as they’re headed out the door to the performance is a bit of a challenge.

Matthew stops off at a nearby Macy’s to use a gift card from his mom that he’s been carrying around since Christmas. He picks up a beautiful silk tie. Being in a mischievous mood, George is considering taking a red marker and a straight edge to draw a tie on his white shirt –but gratefully the thought passes quickly. Lee’s tie doesn’t even attempt to be compliant. It’s got a print of some ponies grazing in a pumpkin patch or something. George admires Lee’s fashion sense of ‘Stickin’ it to the Man’ or rather ‘Stickin’ it to the Hotel’.

The ballroom for the celebration is elegantly lit.
Ice sculptures abound positioned below spherical paper lanterns. The room is all a buzz with workers putting on the last minute touches. A team of audio visual technicians are testing projection screens. The trio has been provided a large platform stage to set up on. “Wow! This stage is huge!” This enthusiasm is quickly squelched as it’s learned that over ½ the platform has been allocated to a giant raffle tumbler for the door prizes later in the evening.

To accommodate the large ballroom, the boys have brought with them for the first time the ‘Big Sound System’. This equipment has plenty of firepower for this size event, but it’s more complicated than the small set-up the guys usually take with them. Cords are strewn everywhere - the stage looks a lot like a plate of oversized spaghetti in a wind storm. After a few minutes of cord and wire wrangling, Lee’s patience has expired. He transforms into a drill instructor barking his ‘requests’ to Matthew and George. His frustration is increased as he is forced to deal with George and Matthew’s ineptitude of ‘all things sound related’. These two try to accommodate him by handing him cords and connectors but by their puzzled looks and the redness of Lee’s face, it’s obvious something’s lacking between the ‘workers’ and ‘management’. Lee tries to explain to George what he’s doing with the system, but the result is akin to someone pointing to something for a dog while the animal simply stares at the person’s finger. Lee shifts his explanations to Matthew, but the response is the same. George and Matthew exchange dumb looks, knowing they are out of their depth.

An audio visual guy the hotel has hired emerges from behind the stage and begins to tell Matthew that the bass amp should have a line out that Lee can run straight into the main system. Matthew agrees to let him examine his amplifier. “See…it’s this area right here. You just have to twist… this connector thingy… and…uh.” The AV guy sheepishly hands Matthew the component he’s just broken off. Matthew stares down into the palm of his hand. The technician quickly finds something across the ballroom that needs his attention, and he is not seen again for the rest night.

At this point Geri from the hotel arrives to check to see if the band needs anything. Matthew looks down again at the broken piece. She brings George a brand new red tie. It even has the tag still on it.
He gladly accepts (although he secretly wishes for ponies like Lee’s). After she leaves, George admits to Matthew that he is nearly 41 years old and has never learned how to tie a tie. Matthew graciously obliges, and ties it for him. See Matthew's Guide to tying a Windsor Knot Here Lee finishes with the equipment. Lee’s color has returned to normal. The three sound check and then head across the street to Quizno’s for a quick bite to eat.

The trio return, adjust their ties, and go to work. In addition to the group’s core songs, the three introduce a number of new tunes they’ve been working on from Billy Joel, Bonnie Raitt, Sting, Van Morrison, CCR, John Hiatt and others.
The new material ignites the three and the excitement spills to the audience. Even though the band stops for the obligatory announcements throughout the evening, the momentum keeps going strong.

Towards the end of the evening, the hotel’s general manager, Al Stento begins the raffle segment. The trio really play this up: Lee’s doing drum rolls, and George and Matthew improvise game show music as winning tickets are drawn. Al responds to this silliness by announcing the winners in his best David Letterman impersonation, throwing the prize cards behind the stage. The band accentuates the card impacts, the crowd loves it.

After the raffle, the evening begins to taper off and the music winds down. Matthew and George convince the servers at the ice sculpture bar to allow them to stick their tongues to the side of the bar (this sadly has become a band tradition between these two) As the guys pack up the equipment, Al and the management thank them and talk of future opportunities. In the parking lot, the trio celebrate that they’ve made it through this potentially disappointing gig unscathed. As George gets into his car and slowly drives away, he looks down at the red tie he’s confiscated and smiles a sly smile.

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Matthew Snaps His G-String

Starbucks – Humble Texas

The first event of the New Year finds the trio back at the Humble Starbucks. Due to the inclement weather outside, the threesome abandon the comfort of patio where they normally play and move everything inside. The corner they set up in is more confined; but it’s dry, warm, and better lit than using Lee’s light system. Matthew has coined the phrase the ‘Skylab Set-up Formation’ for these claustrophobic venues that force the band to stack themselves up like Matryoshka nesting dolls.

Despite the cramped quarters, the guys are pleased to be performing again, and really happy to not be playing Christmas tunes. Drewann and husband, Matt arrive first. They sit in the back of the shop, far enough way from the band to maintain deniability of being associated with them. The two are busily programming a new cell phone that he just received from his parents. They feverously click and text each other looking a lot like castanet players with a single castanet each.

The crowd begins to trickle in as the evening builds. George’s mother, Mary and her friend Ronnie arrive as the group debuts a soulful version of The Doors’ PEOPLE ARE STRANGE. This is followed up with the Stones’ HONKY TONK WOMAN which George jokingly dedicates to her. Ronnie is so moved, he reaches for the tip jar. The band leans forward…it’s a…a…Filipino bill! Huh? Ronnie is a missionary http://www.ronrae.org on furlough from the Philippines, and apparently has some leftover currency he needs to dump. “We’re international now!” exclaims Matthew not realizing they’ve just received a tip that’s equivalent to $.45 cents American. George’s brother, Nathan arrives with friend Ellie in time to hear the announcement that Matthew will be gambling the money from the tip jar in Vegas next week. “So every dollar you donate could yield a return of a hundred fold!”

The ‘What Happened on This Day in History’ trivia segment fails to ignite any notable excitement tonight. Perhaps it’s because Matthew is notably self-conscious this evening. His wife made an off-hand remark as he left home that he was now middle-aged. Lee and George ask “How old will you be for your birthday on Tuesday?” “I’ll be 45.” “Then you’ve been middle-aged for five years...What’s the problem?” “I have? Then I can do this middle-age thing in my sleep!” “Yes, you probably will.” George is inspired by Matthew’s ‘predicament’ and dedicates a heartfelt version of THAT LUCKY OLD SUN to him.

Later on, Robert and Eileen respond to the Clapton song WONDERFUL TONIGHT. George lets the audience in on the clown joke parody that the trio does of this tune.
The evening gains momentum with each song. Things are going smoothly until the second time through the Ray Charles song HALLELUJAH, I LOVE HER SO when there is an unfamiliar ‘THWUNK!’ from the bass section. George looks over to see Matthew examining a limp and dangling bass string - Uh oh. Lee and George finish the tune with an overdramatic ending to mask Matthew’s incapacitated bass. Matthew is distraught: First, finding out he’s middle-aged now this. “These strings cost about $100.00 each.”

George instantly switches to telethon mode. “All proceeds from tonight’s performance will be delivered to Matthew. We’re sending him to play the slots in Vegas next week in hopes of winning enough to buy a new G bass string.” Surprisingly, billfolds and purses start coming out and the tip jar begins to fill. Lee secretly looks at his drum set for something that he can break to raise some money of his own. Still in a fundraising mood, George and Lee launch into a number of improvised parodies about a broken bass, G strings in Las Vegas, etc. To be a good sport about it all, Matthew sings his bass parts into the mic. George attempts to persuade Matthew to waltz with the ‘broken’ instrument, but that’s where he draws the line. After a few annoying minutes of persistence, George realizes this is a lost cause. He and Lee finish off the evening with THE CURTAIN FALLS.

The guys pack up early. In the parking lot, Eileen does her best to persuade Lee to buy more Avon for his wife. George narrowly escapes as he rushes out to meet up with Nathan and Ellie before they head back to Austin. Matthew takes the tip jar and goes home to pack for the bright lights of Vegas.