The Once and Future King

Note: Normally these writings do not relay information of pending or upcoming plans of the group, but we felt this one was too good to pass up:

Recently, the trio were contacted by an Elvis impersonator named Ralph Elizondo to consider playing with him as his backup band. I know what you're thinking - "Ralph??? How can anyone named 'Ralph' bring to life the phenomenonal magic of that hip-swaying boy from Memphis?" We agree: the name 'Ralph' ranks pretty high on the list of supposed non-Presley-ian type things right below names like Ivan, DeShawn, and Otto.

Despite this etymological challenge, Ralph is pretty good. He is a third-generation musician/performer who has been imitating the King for a decade or so, appearing as 'E' at hundreds of venues, including shows like Entertainment Tonight. He has even has aired his own 30-minute Elvis of the 50's & 60's local television show in early 2002. So, he's the real deal.Check out video of Ralph in character here: mms://houstonelvis.com/houstonelvis/dontbecruel.wmv

Tonight's meeting is being held at a Benningan's restaurant on Houston's north side, near Greenspoint mall. This location was chosen for three reasons: (1.) It's symbolic to GP3 since their very first band meeting was held here (2.) Geographically, it's the halfway point for everyone (3.) The restaurant serves an entré affectionately know as the MONTE CRISTO. This is a monster of a sandwich which contains a heaping of turkey, ham, Swiss & American cheese. The sandwich is deep-fried then dipped in raspberry jelly. To finish it all off it then has powered sugar dumped on top. The Lee and George believe that this is perfect for making sure that Ralph stays in true Elvis form by maintaining his intake of strange southern deep-fried cuisine.

But Matthew is not convinced as to whether or not the impersonator will eat healthy or not since his act is the 1950's -60's era Elvis - in other words The 'Skinny' Elvis. George suggests that they get him 'fattened up' so they'll get to play that 'IN THE GHETTO' song which was performed later when Elvis 'ballooned up' to the size of the Michelin Man.

The guys have studied up on the web about their soon-to-arrive dinner guest (http://www.houstonelvis.com) It turns out that Ralph is ranked # 2 in the nation and #10 in the entire world of Elvis impersonators. They understand that it is a huge compliment that this guy has chosen them. The guys contemplate how the Elvis rankings are achieved. "So do you think these Elvis guys have some kinda 'Elvis-Olympiad' or something to determine who's best?" "Yeah, the events are probably centered around the duration you can swivel your pelvis, followed by slow-motion karate moves, and the hotel television shoot out." As the three wait, they agree that it must be something like this and resolve to ask when he gets here.

Matthew decides to wash up. Lee and George notice that he sheepishly takes his computer laptop with him to the men's room. "What's that about?" "Does he not trust that we would we leave it alone? I mean, it's not like we would hide it from him...well...it's not like we would hide it from him for too long." Yeah, just until Elvis gets here." Matthew returns the table to face a fair amount of razzing for this. It's to be expected, but he does have his computer and it is intact. "Laugh all you like guys."

As the restaurant begins to fill for dinner service, the guys watch the door. They size up each patron that comes through - "Could that be Elvis?" "No." "That one?...not yet." They discuss what are the key questions that they'll need answered to make an informed decision about this possible alliance. Matthew states, that he's just going to listen. "Just lay back and see what this guy has to offer, and just listen." They continue to talk of how it would be 'cool' to play back up for an Elvis impersonator vs. playing for a less publically accepted entertainer - Like someone who would impersonate Ecuadorian rapper Gerardo. Known to most as 'that Rico Suavé Guy.' (who incidentally refers to himself as the 'Latin Elvis'). For that matter, it would be better to be helping Ralph than playing for the 'Real Rico Suavé Guy'.

Over George's shoulder, Matthew and Lee see it first. Coming up the sidewalk, in full Elvis costume is Ralph. "Wow! Do you think that he dresses like this all the time -or is this just for us?" "How can you tell it's the right Elvis impersonator?" Elvis...er..Ralph moves across the room like a stage towards the three standing figures. He smiles and takes his place in the empty seat opposite of the trio. "I'm Ralph." Introductions are blurted out in unison. Hands are thrusted out for quickly shaking. It's time to start.

Matthew immediately jumps in and dispenses with small talk. He is polite, but rattles off questions to Ralph like a Gatling gun searching for a target. Lee and George burst into laughter. Lee remarks about how "...it's a good thing Matthew wasn't going to say much." (More laughter). But Matthew doesn't slow. Question after question - this friendly interrogation is enough to rival that of Hanns Scharff. Oddly, very few of Matthew's questions have anything to do with Ralph's musical expectations, band logistics, song lists, etc. The rapid-fire questions mostly surround things like "Did Elvis really know all that karate? Was Colonel Tom Parker a big jerk? When did The Jordanaires begin to accompany Elvis?" George and Lee are concerned that maybe Matthew doesn't know that Ralph has never met Elvis and that he is NOT Elvis -it continues: "How much did Priscilla sell Graceland for? Are they really going to convert it into a theme park?" And finally, "In the movie Kissin' Cousins, where Elvis plays a twin of himself, which twin did you like him as the best? Josh - the soldier, or Jodie - the hillbilly?" Lee is hysterical! (The prosecution rests your honor).

Feeling mischievous, George heads over to the jukebox and selects the Elvis tune "A LITTLE LESS CONVERSATION". Matthew gets the message. It's Ralph's turn. He passes out press packs, and begins to speak of his vision with the act. The conversation weaves through topics of song arrangements, his collection of over 30 replica outfits made by Elvis' own clothes designer, overnight stays, former shows, etc.

James, the guys' waiter brings the check. The trio have been having fun with him all evening, and he has been most gracious to this rowdy table. James obliges them when asked to take a photo of Elvis and GP3. Ralph subconsciously displays one of the King's greatest attributes: generosity. To their surprise, he pays for the trio's dinner. The four shake hands again; this time more slowly and deliberate. As they make their way to the parking lot, George tries to figure out a way to get Matthew's laptop away from him, but doesn't have an opportunity.

As Elvis drives into the distance, the trio realizes that this, as odd as this all seems, could actually happen. It's been laid at their doorstep - If they want to, they can do this Elvis/GP3 backup band thing and eventually see 10 times the amount of venues then they perform at now. The band will sleep on the idea tonight and vote tomorrow. It's very surreal - anything can happen now.

And in keeping with the 'Anything-Can-Happen' motif: Tune in next week when the GP3 battle rabid vampire-unicorns on Mars.

Lost & Found

Hyatt Regency Hotel – Houston Texas

Tonight the band is playing for Administaff's annual sales conference at the downtown Hyatt Regency hotel. The organization is a fortune 500 company that leads the professional employer industry in outsourcing administrative services. They basically go into an existing, fully staffed client company and assume responsibility for their employees. Kind of like a corporate INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS, but with a lot more forms and paperwork for the victims to fill out. Administaff (or 'ASF' as they are affectionately referred to on the stock exchange floor) deals with everything from employee payroll, benefits, worker's comp issues, training, human resource needs, and specialize in very detailed things such as federal/state compliance issues, OSHA, and most importantly: when client employees should use whom vs. who in a sentence, etc. They have over 600 members in the Sales/Marketing organization, and it seems that all but 5 or 6 are here tonight with spouses and significant others.

Matthew and George arrive to the venue early. And it's a good thing because George can not get a hold of Sybil, the event's coordinator. The conference is spread out over three floors of the hotel, and Sybil is not to be found on any of them. George asks Matthew to wait by the cars in the valet parking area until he can find out where they're to be setting up tonight. He scrambles up to the enormous ballroom on the third floor, down to the second floor where photographers are taking pictures of salesmen/saleswomen of the year, then he scurries to the first floor reception desk. After several moments of pleading, the counter person allows George to call for Sybil on her top secret hotel room phone - but she's not answering there either. George is becoming concerned that he may not find her in time for the guys to sound check tonight.

In contrast, Matthew patiently waits down stairs in the parking area. He's brushing up on his Vietnamese as he speaks with one of the valet drivers named Dinh. The trio's third arrival Lee, pulls into the garage. 'What are we waiting for?" "George is inside trying to find out where we set up." " But… he's here -right?" "Yeah, there's his car. He followed me here." "So we should just wait? How long has he been in there?” Matthew replies “He has been gone for a while.”

Back inside, George is desperate! He has succumbed to systematically asking everyone in the ballroom (1.) Do you know Sybil? (2.) Have you seen Sybil? (3.) Do you know where the band is to set up? He questions the staff setting up for dinner, the lighting guy, the plant arranger, the photographer, he even asks some guy in Bermuda shorts and a Hawaiian shirt (who is obviously not affiliated with the event) but to no avail. Then George has an epiphany! He remembers that the daughter of his friend, Deb, works for Sybil. So he calls Deb - If anyone will know where Sybil is, it will be Deb's daughter (who should also be onsite somewhere here by now). Ah Ha! The phone in Deb's apartment rings...and rings...and rings...and - No answer. George sighs and folds the cell phone back into his pocket.

In the unloading zone, Lee and Matthew begin to empty the equipment from the vehicles. This is being done mainly to appease Dinh and the rest of the valet guys who are getting perturbed that the trio’s cars are still blocking access ways. Dinh is no longer smiling, and says something in Vietnamese to one of the crew that Matthew can’t translate, but Lee can tell that whatever it is - it's not very pleasant.

George has accidentally begun to repeat himself by asking some of the same people about Sybil. He is considering filing a missing person's report when he sees a sign of hope. From the 4th floor, he spots a lady speaking into a Blackberry phone. She strolls along the 2nd level’s balcony looking like she may be some type of assistant coordinator. George knows that in the corporate world, a Blackberry is always inter-connected to someone in authority. That's why everyone wants one -to be important or connected to the important.

George charges down the stairs, down the escalator, and rushes at her. The woman is taken aback at first and thinks he's a little off (by this point maybe he is). Between panting, George introduces himself. As he gulps for air, he tells her that he's with the evening's entertainment, and looking for Sybil. Looking into his crazed eyes, the lady secretly wishes that this Blackberry had a 'taser feature'. Eventually, she introduces herself as Miranda and admits that she knows Sybil. After a few cheerful beeps and clicks from the device, Miranda is speaking to her about the trio. "She says that you're on the first floor, in the lobby Set up anywhere you like." George attempts to regain his composure, thanks Miranda, and heads down the escalator towards the garage.

Matthew and Lee have already begun to bring the equipment in by the time George makes it downstairs. The three set up quickly, change clothes, and sound check in record-breaking time. With 15 minutes left until they are to play, the three wander through the hotel's massive lobby. The guys come upon a photographer which is taking complimentary photos for Administaff personnel. George wrangles Matthew and Lee into striking a few poses. He pays the gentleman, and tells the guys that this is a good sign for the evening. "When else could you get a new band promo photo for $20.00?

George is right - the rest of the event goes off perfectly. Since the guys were hired to only play for 1 hour, they've pulled out all of the stops for tonight. The trio is on fire, performing 'high-octane' show-stopping songs that have proven themselves time and time again. The two exceptions to this, are a last minute jazz arrangement that George has pieced together for the event and a 1st time performance of the Etta James' song AT LAST by Matthew. Halfway through the set a request is made from the audience to play Van Morrison's MOONDANCE. The last time it was played by the band was when it was requested last November. Matthew did it then, but George takes a turn this time. The song goes off without a hitch, and the band carries on.

At 6:50, the Administaff coordinators rustle their sales people upstairs like a corporate cattle drive. The lobby becomes instantly quiet and still. In the distance a busboy chinkles some wine glasses that were not taken up to the ballroom. It takes a few moments for the trio's adrenaline to level off. This is the shortest duration they have ever performed. Many of their venues stretch into 4+ hour events...But not tonight: A brief 55 minutes of intensity was all that was ordered. And the boys delivered it in spades. They pack up the gear and head back into 'Dihn's domain' in the garage. He has regained his smile for them. "How did you do?" "It went great." is the soft reply. "Thanks for asking." Lee and Matt drive off to share a belated diner. They end up at a Burger King a few blocks up the road, and speak of Lee's possible retirement, and recently read books. George heads back to the northeast side of town to pick up his kids from the babysitter. On the way home, he double checks his Day-Timer to make sure that he has ALL of the contact info for the trio's event next Tuesday.

"Do You Take This Band to Be Your Wedding Band?"

Dillard's Bridal/Fashion Show (Mall of the Mainland) – Texas City, Texas

The trio is out the door bright and early this Saturday morning. The guys have to be to the mall in Texas City (50+ miles away) by 8:30 A.M in order to set up their booth for the bridal show. The three are excited about distributing their media kits to the brides-to-be who will stop by their little table in the mall. They have also made arrangements with the mall management to play their instruments, so passersby can get a sense of a live GP3 experience. Since Valentine's day was just two days ago, romance is still in the air. This is a great time for any bridal business to push their wares for spring and summer wedding customers.

As soon as the band arrives, they are greeted by Kelly from the mall. She takes them to their booth spot. Lee and George acknowledge to each other that it's in a good location. Their area is situated near the middle of the other booths and displays. Perfect for today's enterprise. Then Kelly says something peculiar: "Now, let me take you to your other spot that you'll be playing later." "Other spot?", asks Lee. "Yes, the catwalk for the fashion show." Kelly gleefully replies. As she leads the two into the center of the mall, George whispers to Lee "What is going on here? We are supposed to play in two spots?" Lee answers "I don't know...I never discussed playing a fashion show with her either." George's lips aren't moving, but his disdain is obvious: "This is a scam...a scam just like all of those Christmas gigs for them last year, the wrong name on the checks, and all that other stuff. Why do we keep putting ourselves through this?" "I don't know...let's just be cool, and see what's going on."

Kelly has picked up on the fact that Lee and George are displeased. "Is there a problem?" Lee respectfully protests "When this place fills up, we won't be able to pack up, move, and then set up again to play a second session in a different location. Kelly, that's just not realistic." George acknowledges that Lee is right. Even though the guys are fairly fast at setting up, it still takes about 20 minutes to move and set everything up. (15 minutes depending on how much caffeine Lee has had).

Matthew arrives to the area lugging some equipment. "What's up?" George and Lee explain that there has been a 'misunderstanding'. Matthew's comprehension of the request is instant "What are we... a NASCAR pit crew?" At this point, Kelly attempts to defend her point. "Well, you are at a Bridal Fashion Show. I thought you would know that you're supposed to play the fashion show." "You're changing the original agreement, we were to have a paid booth to play a little and pass out press kits. We can play the show or the booth but not both. George and Lee wonder if there are there any other 'modifications' that they have not been informed of like -are they to wear the dresses for the fashion too?" (Although George is up for it, Lee may have an issue with the pumps.) This tug-of-war continues until Kelly agrees to allow the guys to set up in one spot and not move.

Lee, George, and Matthew eventually acquiesce and agree to play the fashion walk pro bono. George thinks it will be fun, despite feeling that they've been snookered. Sensing weakness, Kelly moves in for the kill..."So you'll play this morning from 9:30 'til 12:30 whatever music you want. Then we'll start the bridal fashion show at 12:30 and you'll play for 30 minutes or so as the girls model the designer wedding dresses." "So you want us to be here past 1:00?" "Or whenever the fashion show is over." George looks over at Matthew then back at her. "Kelly, not to be difficult about all of this, but Matthew has a prior commitment back in Houston. We understood that we'd perform 2 1/2 hours. So we planned to be done at noon. "Since blaming the band doesn't seem to be getting her anywhere, Kelly takes a different tactic and begins to blame her new assistant for the confusion. George offers to play the assistant's voice mail message to his cell phone for Kelly. At this point she concedes and nervously asks "Can he be to his appointment later? We really want you three to play the fashion show."

Matthew makes a few phone calls and changes his plans. Kelly says "Great!" and quickly leaves the area before the guys come to their senses. Lee shakes his head as George whispers to him that George will never play the Mall of the Mainland ever again. Lee secretly believes that he can persuade him to change his mind. George secretly knows what Lee is thinking, and secretly thinks that he can change Lee's mind to not want to change his.

Within a few minutes (18.5 to be exact) the trio is set up and finished with their sound check. And despite the earlier disagreements with Kelly, the band is in fine working order, doing what they do best - playing music. Every so often, George (laughingly) keeps announcing this is their farewell Mall of the Mainland performance. Greeted by eye-rolling and grins from Matthew and Lee.

The band is set up in an alcove positioned between a Zale's Jewelers on the left and a Kay's Jewelers on the right. George dedicates the song WRAPPED AROUND YOUR FINGER to both companies and suggests that the two have a 'Jewel Off'. Then he jokingly announces that both stores are offering special 1/2 off discounts today in honor of the bridal fair (for a limited time). The sales reps are good sports about it, and one of them, Logan, even requests "...some Billy Joel, Please." YOU MAY BE RIGHT (I MAY BE CRAZY) is the band's musical response.

An interesting looking gent approaches the trio during a break, and introduces himself as 'Mr. Hand'. (No one knows his real name - just the stage name, 'Mr. Hand'). At first glance, he looks a little like a Amish Crocodile Dundee . He says that he 'digs the music' and that he is also a performer in a band called MUNDOTRIBE (www.mundotribe.com). Lee is excited to learn that 'Mr. Hand' is a fellow percussionist, having performed at many world music venues like RaggaeFest and the like. But Matthew and George don't hear any of it, as they start acting out every 'Mr. Hand' character reference they can come up with.

In between songs, Matthew assumes the role of stamping the GP3 square on the 'Bridal Bingo' cards that ladies bring to him. This is a tactic that the organizers have come up with to ensure that the patrons visit every booth at the show. One must have all of the bingo squares stamped in order to be eligible for the door prize drawing - a stretch limo ride for you wedding. The problem is that there is no one at the GP3 booth down the way (since the trio is playing at the catwalk area), so the brides-to-be are very pleased when they find Matthew merrily stamping away as if he's validating parking for everyone in the city.

The time is 12:45 when the bridal fashion show finally begins. The wedding dresses look SPECTACULAR! The models are beautiful as they effortlessly glide down the runway like rainwater down a rose. They move and sway with elegant precision to the trio's music. One could never tell that the song selections were decided just moments before by Matthew and George. To listen you would think that the trio had been rehearsing for this moment for all their lives. Each tune fluently flows from one to the next with a perfect tempo for the walk.The trio plays ONE MORE KISS DEAR / I CAN'T HELP FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOU / SHE'S GOT A WAY /WONDERFUL TONIGHT and draw to a close with HAVE I TOLD YOU LATELY THAT I LOVE YOU.

After the fashion show, Matthew resumes his stamping as Lee and George continue playing. They stop briefly to take a group photo with the models in the dresses. Matthew dedicates the last song of the day to the oddest booth at the exhibit - Palmer Highway Chiropractic. "What is a chiropractor doing at a bridal fair???" The band plays the Nat King Cole favorite STRAIGHTEN UP (AND FLY RIGHT).

As the guys pack up, several good connections are made with the event visitors. They even land a wedding for later in the year based on today's performance. As George and Lee walk by the band's promotion table, they are pleased to see that it's has been cleaned out. Only a few scattered business cards remain. Matthew rushes away to his delayed appointment back in Houston. Lee and George visit the Jack-In-the-Box across from the mall for a quick bite. They talk and laugh for a bit as the afternoon unwinds. As they drive away from the mall, George salutes the sad, dilapidated 'al Of he ain and' sign (translated: Mall of the Mainland) once again, knowing it will be the last visit.

Sittin' On the Dock of the Bay

Landry’s Seafood Restaurant – Kemah Texas

It’s a rainy Tuesday evening at the boardwalk in Kemah. BP of Texas City has hired the trio to play for their annual employee volunteer appreciation dinner. The three begin setting up in an elegant banquet room on the third floor of Landry's seafood restaurant. Set up goes remarkably smooth due to Lee's recent construction of a portable, self-contained case for the sound equipment. The guys have nicknamed the new addition 'The GP5000'. They just roll it into place, plug it in, and 'Voilà!' it's ready to go. No more confusion and aggravation about which cord goes where in the p.a.

In contrast, the Landry's crew are busy trying to assemble a dance floor for the evening. Several of them are sliding 3 x 3 wooden squares around on the carpet directly in front of the band. Each tile square has an interlocking connection on the four corners that have to be placed in a specific order to join up with the other tiles. The members of the the crew are becoming increasingly frustrated as they fight to solve the pattern. Normally Lee is not a mean-spirited guy, but he does take pleasure in the fact that it's not him struggling against the clock to set up . Matthew and George vocalize this sentiment by mildly heckling the crew. "I feel like I'm watching some reality show game challenge." "Yeah, it looks like their playing a giant version of one of those sliding puzzle games." The friendly banter continues on until the trio decide to go downstairs for a bite to eat. The crew is relieved the band is gone-now maybe they can concentrate and get this blasted Rubic's cube of a floor setup!

Once down stairs, the guys treat themselves to warm bowls of Landry's gumbo. The mood is relaxed, due largely to the easy setup (courtesy of the GP5000). The three talk about the evening's venue. Matthew points out the irony of being paid to perform at an event that celebrates volunteerism. Lee and George threaten to throw his bass in the bay if he mentions any of this 'Crazy Talk' to Iris, the evening's hostess. Matthew looks out the window as the waves lap the dock then stares back down into his half-eaten bowl of gumbo.

After a brief dinner, the trio return upstairs to find they are the only ones here. No more hustle and bustle, as the Landry's crew have abandoned the area. It would appear that the wooden tiles have won, as there is not a single square anywhere in the room! "I can't believe that they just...Gave Up! That's too funny!" The band goes to work starting with mainly jazz instrumentals. A few minutes later, Iris and Lakeisha give some last minute instructions. The people trickle in, and look pleased to be inside where it's dry and warm. The trio's soothing jazz tones blanket the room with a welcome audible canopy.

Being two days before valentine's day, many of the tunes tonight are ballads and love songs. George occasionally breaks from character to play volunteer themed titles like ONLY YOU, CHANGE THE WORLD, etc. As the evening progresses, he becomes more bold by leading the group into playing anything that pops into his head like version of Aaron Neville's YELLOW MOON and I’M NOT THE MAN YOU THINK I AM (BUT I’M THE MAN FOR YOU). Even stranger still, George announces that today is the 199th anniversary of the birth of Charles Darwin – “...and whether or not you agree with his theories of evolution, this individual has done more for the advancement of simian relations (specifically monkeys and apes) than Jane Goodall, Cheeta, and Chim-Chim combined.” Then the band plays the Nat King Cole song STRAIGHTEN UP AND FLY RIGHT in which the misadventures of a monkey flying on the back of a buzzard are told.

Finally, the evening's presenter, Kathy takes the stage. She thanks the volunteers (George and Lee give Matthew a sharp 'Don't say a Word about the money' look) then she shows a video of BP volunteer highlights from the past year. Next to address the audience is Iris. Halfway through her presentation Matthew is busted by her as he attempts to get Lee’s attention “Pssst..Pssst...Lee...” Iris turns around thinking he's trying to get her attention. Matthew face turns as red as if he’d been caught passing note in grade school. Iris forgives him (but Lee and George do not).

After the awards are passed out, the trio is allowed to get a little looser musically. As many of the guests still are milling about, the music signals the end of the night by becoming more aggressive-the ballads will not be heard from the rest of the evening. Some of the more bold of the volunteers ask the band to play SITTIN’ BY THE DOCK OF THE BAY, an obvious choice considering the location of tonight's ceremony. What's not obvious is that these guests want to line-dance to it.

Line-dancing is a type of rhythmic walking and turning around (often stumbling into the person next to you) rumored to have been developed on a dare by a marching band drum major and some cowboys. Legend has it that this form of non-touching 'dancing' was born out of the cowboys' desire to imitate Michael Jackson's 1981 THRILLER video, but then something went horribly wrong. The line-dancing craze reached critical mass in early 1992. Shortly thereafter being overthrown by the brief and unexpected resurgence of the Chicken Dance, and then a second wave of assault came from the Macarena later that same year.

But line-dancing to an Otis Redding song even without a dance floor - Now that's commitment to the form! After a bit of bewilderment at this request, the trio gladly oblige the dancers. And they dance and dance and dance and dance some more. The guys play a sadistic extended marathon version of the song intended to dance these guests through the 3rd floor into the second level of the restaurant. But after the band plows through the chorus for the umpteenth time, the dance troop retires. Even they know when too much is too much.

The final song request of the evening from the volunteers is FOLSOM PRISON BLUES - what is it with these people? Was there some catastrophic chemical spill that turned these kind people in to Johnny Cash-loving-line-dancing mutants? But Matthew belts out the request, closing down the night. Before the guys pack up, they're offered some of the evening's left over desserts: A holy pie trinity. Matthew goes for the pecan pie, Lee the cheesecake, and George the key lime. These are AMAZING! "Whoa...this is great! They could have paid us in pie for all I care!" Lee goes back for a second (or is that a third) piece.

Loading up goes quickly tonight. The three emerge from the restaurant to find the rain has cleared, and left a cooler temperature in its place. With the threesome’s tip money burning a hole in their pockets, they approach one of the boardwalk’s midway games - the 'Squirt-a-Wheel'. The objective of the ‘Squirt-a-Wheel’ is simple: Using a high-pressure water gun, competitors blast a small rotating target 6 feet away. As the target is struck by the stream of water, a cylinder is pushed upwards until crossing the finish line. The three will compete to try to win a stuffed Scooby Doo doll dressed as a pirate. The stakes are high: Lee and George have not recovered from the fact that they did so poorly with the Denny’s crane game a few months ago.

The operator of the game says that 4 players are required to play a round of ‘Squirt-a-Wheel’. “You only have three.” But George WILL NOT BE DENIED the chance to humiliate Lee and Matthew in water-spraying combat! He musters all of his powers of persuasion, using an old Jedi Mind Trick allowing 3 to play instead of the required 4 (actually it was the extra cash he gave the attendant). The bored operator agrees with a sigh of indifference – the rain earlier has made for a slow night, so he’ll let these yahoos fight it out. Lee gets some insider info from the operator that station 11 is the favorite to win. But George is determined to prevail regardless of Lee’s mechanical odds. He strategically positions himself between Matthew and Lee. The lines on George and Lee’s faces intensify. Their postures snap into a stance that resembles WWII tail-gunners. To George’s left, Matthew is still thinking about the pecan pie and, how he wishes he had gone back for another slice.

Without warning, the operator launches the game! The guys scramble to adjust their sprays. George leans over to knock Matthew off the stool, a dirty trick that will cost George some valuable time and ultimately the prize because the lights and buzzer at station 11 are sounding victory. Lee exuberantly waves the Scooby Doo pirate-dog at George and Matthew. They both allow Lee to have his moment of triumph knowing there will be other battles.

The three stand around telling stories and jokes as the ‘Squirt-a-Wheel’ booth closes down for the night. Each joke more outlandish than the previous. The soft glow of neon from the boardwalk is reflected in puddles of fresh rain. The raucous sounds of the trio echo off the slick pavement. From a distance their three silhouettes can be seen spasmodically bouncing around occasionally buckling with laughter - A good night in Kemah.

GP3 @ GRB

George R. Brown Convention Center – Houston Texas

The trio races to the heart of downtown Houston to perform at an upscale gig at the George R. Brown convention center. Hired by a Las Vegas production company wanting to establish a Gulf Coast presence, the GP3 is eager to get started.

For those of you reading this that may not be familiar with the (GRB) George R. Brown Center, it is Houston’s premier meeting area. The facility boasts of having over 1.2 million square feet, 3 levels, 66 loading docks, things like internal a Starbucks Coffee house, and Lee swears that he saw a sign for a landing platform for interplanetary spacecraft. The point is that… IT IS HUGE! So massive in fact that the guys are required to park their three tiny vehicles what seems to be 8 kilometers away in the parking garage of the Hilton hotel.

The guys brush this off as a minor inconvenience, and are anxious to get inside of this architectural behemoth. They slowly roll the ‘1st wave’ of their equipment from the garage across a connecting crosswalk two stories above the street level. Once inside, they are instantly taken aback by the kinetic energy of hundreds of workers scrambling around making last minute touches for the event. The trio watches members of the GRB crew ricochet from point to point. The energy is suffocating as abbreviated last minute instructions are blurted out to caterers, workers, and custodians which bounce around like 1000 marbles thrown into a clothes dryer. “Wow…the Starbucks in here must be set to turbo speed!”

In contrast, the trio’s dolly slowly inches through the complex like a loaded barge (a barge surrounded by 20-30 jet skies and speed boats buzzing around it). No problem though…the band has finally found their destination. Jon and Dan from the production company are all smiles as they greet the group. These two are very personable, and considering the amount of poise they display in the midst of all of this controlled chaos, Matthew thinks they should do very well in Texas with the new company. Jon and Lee break off and head to where the band will be playing tonight and are engulfed in a sea of people scurrying about.

After a few minutes, Lee returns with the news: “Uh…We’re outside - Outside on the balcony.” “Are you kidding? It’s going to rain.” protests George. “Yeah –Outside. But Jon says It’s not going to rain.” George incredulously fires back “How could he possibly he know something like that?” Lee continues, “He said the weatherman said there’d be no rain.” Jon approaches “Hey George, the weather will be fine, the weatherman said so.” “But look at those clouds …what happens if he’s wrong?” “Well, we’ll just move everyone inside. You guys will get paid if even you get rained out and can’t perform.” “Oh…we get paid anyway?" "Yes. Regardless if you play or not." "Oh…Okay –Let’s get to it then!”

The piano and bass equipment is quickly moved on to the stage platform. Matthew, Lee, and his adult daughter begin the trek back to the parking garage for the 2nd load. George is quite pleased with how he has set up his gear in record breaking time. Everything is set and ready to go when Dan informs him that they’re on the wrong balcony! “Your trio is supposed to be set up on the balcony with the George Poe Trio signage.” George is impressed by Dan’s offer to help pack everything up and move to down the corridor to the other balcony. When Matthew returns George tells him “With everything this guy has to do right now he was bustin’ his back to help us relocate.”

Lee returns with the remainder of the equipment. After a quick set up and sound check, everything ready to go. George points out an interesting phenomenon that he’s observed about this venue. “You notice how we’re told the same instructions from three different sources? Like that 1st lady that came up and said ‘You’ll start playing at 6:30’ and then the other two people told us the same thing." Matthew acknowledges this “Yeah, Maybe we’ll be paid three times too (even we get rained out).”

Three of the GRB staff inform the band (at 3 different times) that the trio is welcome to use the ‘Green Room’ provided to them. It’s room 214, 214, 214. Since there’s about 20 minutes to kill, the guys decide to go and see what it’s like to be a ‘Big-time’ performer at the GRB and have a ‘Green Room’.

As they begin searching for the ever elusive room 214 they notice things have settled down inside the convention hall. The workers are all in place doing worker-type things. Foyers are beginning to overflow with the event’s guests. Tonight’s venue is for MPI (Meeting Partners International). The conference is expected to generate $100 million in business for Houston during the next three years, according to historical trends for cities that have hosted MPI conventions. And there's a rumor that the city's mayor, Bill White is somewhere in the building. Maybe in room 214?

As best as the band can surmise, MPI is a group of professional meeting people who get together to network and arrange meetings in order for people to meet people involved meeting people who meet others. You may feel that you are good at presenting yourself during an introduction, but these people are the pros! These individuals are studied in the art of small talk ranging from comments about the weather (‘The weatherman said that it shouldn’t rain tonight’) to who was expunged from the latest reality game show. They have mastered the science of the business card flick. They know exactly how much hand pressure to apply when shaking hands ('web-to-web' and all that). Their most marketable ability is they are able to seem genuinely interested in whoever is speaking to them even though they’re actually not listening at all, but rather contemplating which portrayal of the Daren character on ‘Bewitched’ was superior , Dick York or Dick Sargent .

After ten minutes of walking, the guys are almost back to the parking garage and still no 214! Lee asks one of the servers. The response from the woman comes out as a laugh at first, then she points waaaaaaaayyyyy down to where the four started from. Lee is not pleased. “We go on in 10 minutes!” In silent acknowledgment the group walks back briskly now, as with a purpose.

They finally make it in to 214 - which turns out to be located only 75 feet from the balcony! “Whoa...This is nice.” The three quickly begin to partake of the snacks and sodas left for them. “Come on guys - whoever set all this stuff out will be disappointed if we don’t eat all of this!” At this point one of the handlers come into the green room to see Matthew with a half-eaten jumbo chocolate chip cookie for a mouth. “It’s time to get started.” Matthew acknowledges with "Orffe hvrrmpph fruomff tonnueph." as chocolate chips are sent flying. When the guys make it back to the stage, another coordinator prompts them “Are you guys ready? It’s time to start.” George pauses for a moment and wonders if he should wait for a third contact to tell them to start before proceeding. But the third person never comes, so he launches the trio into the song ALMOST LIKE BEING IN LOVE, and the band is off and running.

The sun is setting, and even though the music from the trio sounds great, little attention is paid to the band. Over 2000 members of MPI resemble a massive hive of bees buzzing over each other, looking to pollinate empty hands with warm palms and business cards. But the trio has a secret weapon of their own: Lee's daughter. She slyly inserts herself into the crowd - talks up the band, and even manages to take some choice pics of the trio.

Partly through the first set, Matthew and George a startled by a fire-blast shooting straight up from the street level below. George actually misses a beat, stunned, until Matthew informs him that the flame is coming up from an art car parked on the street below them. The wind begins to pick up (punctuated every few minutes by the fire blast below). Lee hands George clothes pins to keep the sheet music from being whisked away down Capitol Street. With each gust of wind, George is concerned that Matthew may blow over the balcony's edge. If this happens, it could disrupt the MPI group's meeting each other by forcing them to stop and actually look over in the guy's direction. This must not happen. George realizes that he does not have a big enough clothes pin to hold Matthew to the rail - so they'll just have to chance it, and hope for the best. Fortunately, Matthew doesn't fall. But the wind continues to bombard the guys-but no rain (just like Dan and Jon said).

Pink and lavender hues encircle the entire area. Beams of white randomly criss-cross and slice through the violet refractions. Not to be outdone the fire-geyser from the art car reports from the street every few minutes. Speaking of redundant reporting, the coordinators reappear one by one to inform the guys to take a break at 8:00 for the fire works show: "You'll need to stop at 8:00 for the fireworks." Followed by another "You'll need to stop at 8:00 for the fireworks." then finally : "Remember to stop at 8:00 for the fireworks."

It's 8:00...The guys decide to take a break.

The fireworks show truly is spectacular and brings everyone out on the deck. When it's over the guys capitalize on having a fresh set of ears to play to. George leads in with a savage version of John Hiatt's WHEN YOU HOLD ME TIGHT. He plays so intense on the piano he nearly pushes it off the stand base. "Whew!". To regain their equanimity, the band eases back down into a smooth FLY ME TO THE MOON & DON'T GET AROUND MUCH ANYMORE (both made popular by Frank Sinatra). It's at this point a woman emerges from the crowd and asks Matthew if they play "any songs by Frank Sinatra." Dumbfounded, they agree to play another Sinatra tune.

The three close out the evening playing SPOOKY as the wind begins to subside. They pack up the equipment. Dan calls for a flatbed dolly, but all of them are in use by the caters and he's told "It's gonna be a while." So Matthew and George continue their ridiculous tradition of ice-sculpture licking. This time they have found one in the foyer across from the balcony. They have convinced the bartender into allowing them to stick their tongues to the ice bar. Dan shoots a picture . After waiting for what seems like an eternity for a loading dolly, the three are finally able pack up to go home. As they head north a thin layer of tiny rain droplets begin to bead up on their windshields. "Ah, there it is...No rain tonight."

A 'Red' Tie Affair

Crowne Plaza Hotel – Houston Texas

The last day of the month finds the trio performing for the Crowne Plaza Hotel. This corporation has recently invested thousands of dollars in renovations and has hired GP3 to help celebrate the ‘Re-Grand Opening’ of the Houston facility. The hotel’s major clients and vendors will arrive in mere hours. Matthew and George arrive first to find workman feverously adjusting fixtures, painting doors, hanging plants etc.

There is a bit of apprehensiveness regarding this venue since some pretty significant details were relayed just as the guys were headed to the gig. Apparently, the event’s hostess has expectations, that while are obvious to her, are not standard for the band. Note: The members of the trio pride themselves in being able to ‘roll with the punches’ and adapt to unforeseen requests and needs that arise for the sake of any event. But this organizer assumed that the group knew the entire song catalog of Michael Bublé (seriously, she really thought this). George agrees to work up COME FLY WITH ME and some other tunes to partially satisfy the late demand.

Even more mysterious was the expectation that the trio would automatically divine that they should be wearing red ties to the venue. George received a phone call from the coordinator as he was preparing to leave for the hotel instructing him to ‘remember’ to wear the red ties. “Red ties? Did we discuss this already?” Response: “Oh, I thought you knew that all of our associates around here wear dark jackets and red ties. Do you have red ties?” “Uh…Maybe. I’ll let Matt and Lee know. We’ll see what we can do on short notice. Do you have red ties for us?” “Well the red and black are our colors-you don’t have red ties?” “We’ll try.” George in disbelief, quickly called Lee and Matthew. Normally a requirement such as this would be fairly innocuous for the guys to comply with, but to learn of this as they’re headed out the door to the performance is a bit of a challenge.

Matthew stops off at a nearby Macy’s to use a gift card from his mom that he’s been carrying around since Christmas. He picks up a beautiful silk tie. Being in a mischievous mood, George is considering taking a red marker and a straight edge to draw a tie on his white shirt –but gratefully the thought passes quickly. Lee’s tie doesn’t even attempt to be compliant. It’s got a print of some ponies grazing in a pumpkin patch or something. George admires Lee’s fashion sense of ‘Stickin’ it to the Man’ or rather ‘Stickin’ it to the Hotel’.

The ballroom for the celebration is elegantly lit. Ice sculptures abound positioned below spherical paper lanterns. The room is all a buzz with workers putting on the last minute touches. A team of audio visual technicians are testing projection screens. The trio has been provided a large platform stage to set up on. “Wow! This stage is huge!” This enthusiasm is quickly squelched as it’s learned that over ½ the platform has been allocated to a giant raffle tumbler for the door prizes later in the evening.

To accommodate the large ballroom, the boys have brought with them for the first time the ‘Big Sound System’. This equipment has plenty of firepower for this size event, but it’s more complicated than the small set-up the guys usually take with them. Cords are strewn everywhere - the stage looks a lot like a plate of oversized spaghetti in a wind storm. After a few minutes of cord and wire wrangling, Lee’s patience has expired. He transforms into a drill instructor barking his ‘requests’ to Matthew and George. His frustration is increased as he is forced to deal with George and Matthew’s ineptitude of ‘all things sound related’. These two try to accommodate him by handing him cords and connectors but by their puzzled looks and the redness of Lee’s face, it’s obvious something’s lacking between the ‘workers’ and ‘management’. Lee tries to explain to George what he’s doing with the system, but the result is akin to someone pointing to something for a dog while the animal simply stares at the person’s finger. Lee shifts his explanations to Matthew, but the response is the same. George and Matthew exchange dumb looks, knowing they are out of their depth.

An audio visual guy the hotel has hired emerges from behind the stage and begins to tell Matthew that the bass amp should have a line out that Lee can run straight into the main system. Matthew agrees to let him examine his amplifier. “See…it’s this area right here. You just have to twist… this connector thingy… and…uh.” The AV guy sheepishly hands Matthew the component he’s just broken off. Matthew stares down into the palm of his hand. The technician quickly finds something across the ballroom that needs his attention, and he is not seen again for the rest night.

At this point Geri from the hotel arrives to check to see if the band needs anything. Matthew looks down again at the broken piece. She brings George a brand new red tie. It even has the tag still on it. He gladly accepts (although he secretly wishes for ponies like Lee’s). After she leaves, George admits to Matthew that he is nearly 41 years old and has never learned how to tie a tie. Matthew graciously obliges, and ties it for him. See Matthew's Guide to tying a Windsor Knot Here Lee finishes with the equipment. Lee’s color has returned to normal. The three sound check and then head across the street to Quizno’s for a quick bite to eat.

The trio return, adjust their ties, and go to work. In addition to the group’s core songs, the three introduce a number of new tunes they’ve been working on from Billy Joel, Bonnie Raitt, Sting, Van Morrison, CCR, John Hiatt and others. The new material ignites the three and the excitement spills to the audience. Even though the band stops for the obligatory announcements throughout the evening, the momentum keeps going strong.

Towards the end of the evening, the hotel’s general manager, Al Stento begins the raffle segment. The trio really play this up: Lee’s doing drum rolls, and George and Matthew improvise game show music as winning tickets are drawn. Al responds to this silliness by announcing the winners in his best David Letterman impersonation, throwing the prize cards behind the stage. The band accentuates the card impacts, the crowd loves it.

After the raffle, the evening begins to taper off and the music winds down. Matthew and George convince the servers at the ice sculpture bar to allow them to stick their tongues to the side of the bar (this sadly has become a band tradition between these two) As the guys pack up the equipment, Al and the management thank them and talk of future opportunities. In the parking lot, the trio celebrate that they’ve made it through this potentially disappointing gig unscathed. As George gets into his car and slowly drives away, he looks down at the red tie he’s confiscated and smiles a sly smile.

Matthew Snaps His G-String

Starbucks – Humble Texas

The first event of the New Year finds the trio back at the Humble Starbucks. Due to the inclement weather outside, the threesome abandon the comfort of patio where they normally play and move everything inside. The corner they set up in is more confined; but it’s dry, warm, and better lit than using Lee’s light system. Matthew has coined the phrase the ‘Skylab Set-up Formation’ for these claustrophobic venues that force the band to stack themselves up like Matryoshka nesting dolls.

Despite the cramped quarters, the guys are pleased to be performing again, and really happy to not be playing Christmas tunes. Drewann and husband, Matt arrive first. They sit in the back of the shop, far enough way from the band to maintain deniability of being associated with them. The two are busily programming a new cell phone that he just received from his parents. They feverously click and text each other looking a lot like castanet players with a single castanet each.

The crowd begins to trickle in as the evening builds. George’s mother, Mary and her friend Ronnie arrive as the group debuts a soulful version of The Doors’ PEOPLE ARE STRANGE. This is followed up with the Stones’ HONKY TONK WOMAN which George jokingly dedicates to her. Ronnie is so moved, he reaches for the tip jar. The band leans forward…it’s a…a…Filipino bill! Huh? Ronnie is a missionary http://www.ronrae.org on furlough from the Philippines, and apparently has some leftover currency he needs to dump. “We’re international now!” exclaims Matthew not realizing they’ve just received a tip that’s equivalent to $.45 cents American. George’s brother, Nathan arrives with friend Ellie in time to hear the announcement that Matthew will be gambling the money from the tip jar in Vegas next week. “So every dollar you donate could yield a return of a hundred fold!”

The ‘What Happened on This Day in History’ trivia segment fails to ignite any notable excitement tonight. Perhaps it’s because Matthew is notably self-conscious this evening. His wife made an off-hand remark as he left home that he was now middle-aged. Lee and George ask “How old will you be for your birthday on Tuesday?” “I’ll be 45.” “Then you’ve been middle-aged for five years...What’s the problem?” “I have? Then I can do this middle-age thing in my sleep!” “Yes, you probably will.” George is inspired by Matthew’s ‘predicament’ and dedicates a heartfelt version of THAT LUCKY OLD SUN to him.

Later on, Robert and Eileen respond to the Clapton song WONDERFUL TONIGHT. George lets the audience in on the clown joke parody that the trio does of this tune.

The evening gains momentum with each song. Things are going smoothly until the second time through the Ray Charles song HALLELUJAH, I LOVE HER SO when there is an unfamiliar ‘THWUNK!’ from the bass section. George looks over to see Matthew examining a limp and dangling bass string - Uh oh. Lee and George finish the tune with an overdramatic ending to mask Matthew’s incapacitated bass. Matthew is distraught: First, finding out he’s middle-aged now this. “These strings cost about $100.00 each.”

George instantly switches to telethon mode. “All proceeds from tonight’s performance will be delivered to Matthew. We’re sending him to play the slots in Vegas next week in hopes of winning enough to buy a new G bass string.” Surprisingly, billfolds and purses start coming out and the tip jar begins to fill. Lee secretly looks at his drum set for something that he can break to raise some money of his own. Still in a fundraising mood, George and Lee launch into a number of improvised parodies about a broken bass, G strings in Las Vegas, etc. To be a good sport about it all, Matthew sings his bass parts into the mic. George attempts to persuade Matthew to waltz with the ‘broken’ instrument, but that’s where he draws the line. After a few annoying minutes of persistence, George realizes this is a lost cause. He and Lee finish off the evening with THE CURTAIN FALLS.

The guys pack up early. In the parking lot, Eileen does her best to persuade Lee to buy more Avon for his wife. George narrowly escapes as he rushes out to meet up with Nathan and Ellie before they head back to Austin. Matthew takes the tip jar and goes home to pack for the bright lights of Vegas.

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